Cathy's 3 Day Walk- continues...

Back in the saddle

2012-02-08T18:36:00.000-08:00

Distractions...distractions. My goal, my passion is finding a cure for Cancer. Today the flu is over and the sun is shining. Leslie asked yesterday if I could sneak away for a walk, and I did have about 1 hour and 45 mins so I took her up on it. (That kind of day!) So we met at Blackies Pasture.

Olivia has become a real Marin Gal and knows just where Blackie lives. When we started off I suggested Leslie hold her on Blackie's back. Poor Via was pretty darn petrified but she tolerated the photo op.

As we walked Leslie and I talked about how committed we are to walking this walk. We are both survivors, Olivia is a survivor... we have a personal mission to end Cancer. I am excited to put the focus where it should be again. I am anxious for the conversation to return to what this has always been about... A cure!!!

It has been so disturbing to know how many of our walkers have been treated recently. A young college student was ganged up on in speech class because she is walking in the three day. Really... Really? She got back to her car and turned on the radio and the Black Eye Peas' 'I've got a feeling' came on. This is one of the songs we hear during the 3 day. She said she felt a wave of pink goodness wash over her and immediately felt better.

This community comprised of so many people from different walks of life, young /old, men /women all understand that goodness. Each are devoted to doing everything they can to find a cure. I told her, hold the course. Let them have their opinions and show them by example what you believe in. Find that nose bleed territory on the top of the mountain and hold course. Walk the walk.

I am so blessed be surrounded by people who inspire me. To walk with them is an honor beyond words. 2012 may have it's challenges, but those challenges will make us stronger for our fight. It will forge in us into mighty warriors who together will help us reach a day without Breast Cancer.

The Cure

2012-02-07T12:08:00.000-08:00

It's about the cure.

Many people are asking about who else does similar work in the Breast Cancer field. The following are links to some organizations that do, if differently than Komen. I promised to give you my take on some of the best to consider. I donate to some of these in addition to Komen, because fighting Breast Cancer is so important. 1 in 8 women are diagnosed in their lifetime, 1 in 8 will die. Whatever you do, find a way to help.

Sloan Kettering – They conduct 400 clinical trials and do a lot of great research . Outreach is east coast however for patient services. Think of this as a good source for research. http://www.mskcc.org/giving

MD Anderson –Don’t see a specific way to give to only Breast Cancer. But they do remarkable work in the research and treatment of Cancer. http://www.mdanderson.org/gifts/waysofgiving

Breast Cancer Emergency Fund – This helps women going through Breast Cancer with the financial costs associated with this traumatic time in their lives. http://www.bcef-sf.org/

Nancy’s List – A very local Marin grassroots organization founded by a survivor of Colon Cancer. This organization provides assistance with the little things from community members. It is very grassroots and has wonderful support of children with Cancer called Nancy’s Clubhouse. http://www.nancyslist.org/

The Foundation for Integrative Oncology – This organization strives to support individuals throughout their cancer journey, and encourages them to take an active role in their healing process by nurturing their mind, body, and spirit. Now in association with Marin General Hospital http://www.complementarycancercare.org/supporters_circle/online_donation.php
I have not supported Avon personally but ...
Avon – The largest corporate organization for Breast Cancer, Avon does some wonderful work f. Avon Breast Foundation. They also provide funds for domestic violence. http://www.avonfoundation.org/donate

And of course

Team: Are We There Yet? Their 60 mile walk will benefit Susan G Komen for the Cure. 100% of the net proceeds raised will go to Research 75% and Services and Treatment 25%. www.the3day.org/goto/teamarewethereyet or www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

I have not researched the politics of any of these organization, just their Mission and their work. If you are interested in finding out the plus and minuses of those issues that concern you, please do research these. To me, all of these organizations do wonderful, meaningful work. Find the one that speaks to you and donate.
Cancer takes lives every day. For me that is a multi front war. I donate to several of these organizations but I walk for a cure with Komen. Your support of that walk would certainly mean the world to me, but it isn’t the only way to support this fight against Cancer. I hope you find a way to help me, END Breast Cancer and support those who go through it. For larger organizations, you may want to turn to www.CharityNavigator.org to research the transparency and their finanicals.

This year I will be walking in two 3 day walks. I feel it is more important than ever to keep my focus on why I walk. I walk for a cure. 100% of the net proceeds of the walk go to that goal. 75% to research, 25% to community Screening and Treatment and Education and to support the local affiliate.

And that… I think that is the last I am going to say about that…. 120 miles… 6 days … 1 CURE.

Quick post

2012-02-05T06:38:00.001-08:00

I'll be walking and working this week. Excited to be doing both. By weeks end I will, for those of you looking for local organizations that could need our help, post a list. I have some personal favorites but you can let me know yours as well.

The important thing has always been finding an end to cancer and helping those who have been touched by it. Your support of my walk is welcome and needed, but if your heart calls you to support this important goal another way, you have my thanks and respect. Of course you can support more than one organization or cause at a time!!! No one thing can be all things to all people.

Team:are we there yet? Says thanks.

For Zoie

2012-02-04T10:43:00.000-08:00

They were walking in Boston in 2011 for a lot of reasons. Some walked celebrating their own survival, some walked for their friends who had battled Cancer, some walked thinking about generations to come, some walked for those they had lost; Mothers, daughters, sisters, fathers, friends or wives. To each person, as they stood at opening ceremonies, those faces that inspired them filled their minds and hearts.

The heat was oppressive, and although it may have challenged some people's resolve, it didn't break their common Mission to END BREAST CANCER. On this first day, as temperatures rose to double digit's and the humidity rose with it, it was becoming an unsafe situation. The walk was shortened and the day abbreviated. Walkers were dehydrated, and most likely some had lost some of their emotional energy in these conditions. But their commitment didn't falter.

On day 2, the day began with a brief thunderstorm. Surely these Cancer warriors must have rolled their eyes as the began a day that they could only imagine would be challenging, albeit cooler. There is a hill on day 2 in Boston called the Belmont Hill, people say it's a pretty tough hill as Boston Hills go. As they trudged up they were handed water by supporters (even in the rain). Then at the top of the hill, they saw her.

She stood quietly with tears in her eyes, holding a poster that said "My Mom Died from Breast Cancer, Keep Walking for a Cure." And her tears fell and dropped into a wide unknown ocean.

I am certain many people who saw her were forever touched to the soul. One of those was Jim Hillman. Jim says when he saw this little girl, he walked over and gave her a gentle hug. Jim knew about losing a Mother, he was walking in memory of his Mother who had lost her battle. Walking across the street he turned several times to look back at the little girl, standing meekly, quietly holding her sign with its simple plea. And he said, "It was a life changing moment." No one walking in this walk could have walked by this girl without it hitting them square in the heart. THIS is why we walk. THIS is how we can make a difference.

Later that night at camp people talked about this girl on Belmont Hill. Jim asked if anyone knew who she was, but no one did. The 1700 walkers who each started this walk with their own reasons, had another reason to continue the fight. A ripple went out from the little girls tears and it ran across everyone in Boston.

Jim posted the girl's picture on Facebook trying to find out who she was. There were no answers but the wave was growing.

You see the word got around about this little girl on Belmont Hill . Jim was walking in not one, not two but all fourteen 3 day walks. As he walked he had a picture of Zoie on his backpack. He was on a Ferry in SF during the 3 day walk when he heard a woman behind him crying. He was used to that, he had heard that many times over many miles. So he turned to speak with her. Her name was Kristina. What she told him sent the ripples even further and stronger. "I take care of her," she said "her name is Zoie."

Kristina Libby and her friends had always had a cheer section on Belmont Hill, and 2011 was nothing different. She brought Zoie and told her she could write anything she wanted on her sign. It was an emotional day for Zoie, but she felt good knowing she was encouraging these people in pink walking for an end to Breast Cancer.

Jim came to find out Zoie's Mother had passed away in 2010 at the age of 41. She left behind three daughters. The sisters were under the care of a bachelor uncle on disability. As they walked Jim learned more and more and came away with this new friend Kristina determined to do something to help the girls. The wave gains speed.

After the walk, Jim and Kristina got to work. they started contacting whomever they thought would help. The 3 day community united in their effort to help this girl on Belmont Hill. One of those Jim contacted was one of his new 3 day friends from Boston, Paul Young. Paul is in the insurance business and worked to get the family adopted by his office. Jim got a list of things they may need including some home repairs. Around Christmas time when Paul went over to the home he noticed space heaters everywhere. The furnace didn't work. He reached out to the community and they answered. By Christmas the sisters had safe heat and some much need Christmas gifts to celebrate. The tear drops had become a Maverick wave.

Today Zoie is 10. She knows that although her Mother is gone, she is surrounded by a world of love and care. Had it not been for the 3 day, none of this would have happened. Each and every person who sees Zoie, or others like her, on the 3 day is reminded we all have our scars from this horrible disease and most of of them are not physical. Most are deep in your heart and soul. But somehow KNOWING you can do something about that is so very healing to all of us. Knowing the 75% of the net proceeds we raise goes to research that will END this disease, and the other 25% goes to the community who needs it, gives us comfort, hope and power we would not have any other way. By putting our feet where our hearts are, we can physically make that statement with every step.

We can END Breast Cancer.

Zoie saw that. Zoie felt that.

This year in Boston, Zoie and her sister Erin are applying to be Youth Corp members. Those beautiful gold shirted kids who cheer us on, who help us out at camp, and remind us this walk is for them perhaps even more than it is for us.

The Maverick wave is now a Tsunami. And you know what???

Breast Cancer is no match for a Tsunami....

So when you hear people say, we could do without the 3 day. I could just donate my money to another organization, please remember Zoie and how this community made such a difference in her life. How many other stories like Zoie's will not be able to be told without your support.
There's something to be said for boots on the ground or sneakers on the Hills of Belmont and little girls tears.

I am asking for your continued support.
Thank you
http://www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

When turning around is a good thing

2012-02-03T12:21:00.001-08:00

Wow what a couple of days this has been.

This is what I know. The Komen board has made it clear that even the perception of politics when it comes to Cancer is not ok. And boy did we ever see those political animals pounce from both sides when Komen dared to “de-fund” Planned Parenthood.

I am glad this happened. Why?

When I am walking in the 3 day there is such a sense of power. That power is not political. There are no party lines. There is no religion or race. When a 3 day walker walks in this walk they know they are walking for a cure to Cancer. 75% of the net proceeds from the money raised at the 3 day goes directly to research the other 25% goes to community education and screenings. Add that up. That’s 100% of the money raised . That is something to be proud of.

So when I received a phone call in 2010 from a stage IV Breast Cancer warrior (age 26) named Bridget, I listened. I listened to her thank me for the money I raised because it was paying for an experimental treatments that might save her life. And she is alive today. She and her husband were able to spend New Years in Vienna and walk in a snowfall holding hands . Susan G Komen made that possible.

I participated in the survivor circle in DC and stood next to some amazing women. One has had 3 recurrences of breast Cancer. One had just finished her chemotherapy. Most were mothers. One, with bright pink hair, told me she didn’t have to have chemotherapy because the research Susan G Komen funded had discovered many different types of Breast Cancer. Through that discovery they were able to tailor make her treatment. They determined Chemotherapy was not necessary. Only a year before she would have been subjected to Chemotherapy and I know how debilitating that is personally. That was made possible by Susan G Komen.

I have wrapped my arms around people walking in the 3 day because their daughter can’t, or their wives. Breast Cancer had taken them. There is so much more we need to do.

Is Susan G Komen perfect? Not by any stretch. No organization is. But it has been and will continue to be our best hope for finding a cure to Breast Cancer. Debate is a good thing. It allows us to really ask ourselves what our true intentions are. Self examination is extremely powerful because it can lead to positive change and that only makes us stronger. This incident has made Komen look in the mirror and ask itself, what is our Mission and how do we protect it. They made a horrible misstep by creating a situation which led some to believe their Mission had changed. An organization in my mind is far more powerful when it is supported from the bottom up, and not the top down. I believe the last few days will strengthen Komen by reaffirming its true soul. It's true calling. To end Breast Cancer.

I have joined thousands who stand at closing ceremonies at the 3 day who hear the words shouted to universe , “Until this is a world without Breast Cancer WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP!” I will never give up. I hope you won’t either.

I hope I can continue to count you as a supporter of this great cause.

"The Accidental Re-Branding of Komen"

2012-02-02T10:12:00.000-08:00

They didn't see it coming and for that I am truly angry and very sad. When the press release hit with the news that Susan G Komen had pulled funding from Planned Parenthood, it ignited passions in people about issues not at all related to the End of Breast Cancer. It flamed the fires of the abortion debate and possibly irrevocably tied Susan G Komen to that debate.

All of this happened, I believe, because they were ignorant or arrogant enough to think the logic of what they were doing outweighed the emotion that would follow. They felt (or acted) as if they did'nt have to address the whys of what they did. In that void of communication those surprised and angered took over the conversation, and those who portrayed this as a major victory for pro-life passion joined in.

The conversation flew straight off of the facts, that 1 in 8 women will battle Breast cancer and of those 1 in 8 will die, and square onto a political agenda, far right vs. far left schemes. There was no talk about the community outreach that is being done through Susan G Komen, just that Susan G Komen had abandoned under insured women and left them standing at a closed Planned Parenthood door (which of course is not the case.)

You and I know, once the conversation swings in one myopic direction, there is a whole world not being seen. Especially when that shift happens in a blink of an eye. I thought, since I have received more than one call and email of concern I would give you my take on Susan G Komen and why I will continue to walk for them despite their inexcusable debacle in regards to Planned Parenthood.

I am a 16 year survivor of a disease that would have killed me had it NOT been for the work Komen had done on several different fronts. Their work at awareness brought me the knowledge that self-exam was important. Had I not found the lump I did, I would be dead. I was part of the first wave of folks using a chemotherapy drug whose research had been paid for in part by a Komen Grant. I would not be alive today without chemotherapy. And Komen has given me an avenue to express my passion and determination to end Cancer. In the process of walking all those miles, I gained a belief in myself that I do not imagine I would have gotten in any other way. For that I will be forever grateful.

The community that I walk with at Komen has never been political. I walk next to people who are “pro-life” while I have always been “pro-choice”. The walk has never been about that, it has been about ending Cancer. It will always be about that for me. I do not intend on anyone hijacking this organization for political purposes and in the process leave my daughters to face a world where Breast Cancer has the control. I will not allow that.

Facts: Komen invested over $93,000,000 in community grants and services. Of that $680,000 this past year was given to 19 Planned Parenthood facilities. Avon didn’t fund Planned Parenthood. Komen did 5 years ago and that took gutts other organizations didn't have. They knew they would take flack for giving any money to Planned Parenthood but they did it anyway because at the time it was the best way to get these services to women. They lost support from some who felt Planned Parenthood was the devil. In the past few years however, as Komen sought to fine tune their community outreach, hoping to improve the directness of their grants to support of services, they helped fund and create many other community programs including mobile mammograms. These vans go into communities where these services are not available either due to no insurance or lack of education. They provide free or low cost mammograms and save lives. Planned Parenthood would refer out the clients they saw, so the service is less direct.

Non-profits review grant money yearly. This is not unique to Komen. It was the surprise of the announcement that sent people reeling. The press release hit and Planned parenthood in a defensive move tied the decision to pressure from the right wing thereby igniting those with other points of view. Komen did not help that perception by saying a change in policy that, no grants can be given to organizations who are under local, state or federal investigation was the reason for the withdrawal of funding from Planned Parenthood. There are many reasons why Planned Parenthood is valued by many people and the senante investigation is by its nature political.

Planned Parenthood provides many more services (unrelated to Breast Health) including screening for other women’s cancers, reproductive choice to name only a few. I believe Planned Parenthood to be a vital service to an under insured world. I support them and have donated to them. Their core mission is not just Breast Cancer. Right or wrong, it is also, and has been for as long as I can remember,a polarizing political group that brings out people’s anger or support with passion on both sides.

I want Komen to be non-political and I believe it has been. Breast Cancer doesn’t care if you believe in abortion or global warming or tax cuts for the rich. When I stand next to a fellow survivor I have no idea where they came from or “who” they are. They have fought an enemy who tried to take their life and are living to tell the story. But Komen has become political whether they like it or not. They have made a number of truly stupid choices. Choices like hiring Karen Handel a conservative pro-lifer who is VP in charge of policy. She needs to go. Even if she never pushed an agenda (which I doubt) she needs to go because the perception that she may have is enough to give her the boot. Komen should reverse the new policy regarding funding organizations under investigation. There are some fundamental American values like innocent until proven guilty that should come into play. Otherwise this will happen again because of someone's political motives. Komen should demonstrate their commitment to the underserved by sharing the impressive and extensive list of community programs that have been funding. The link following is just in the Washington DC area listing of some of the mammogram facilities funded by Susan G Komen. http://www.aahd.us/site/static/pdfs/komen/MammoFacilKomen2009-10.pdf

No longer will fundraising or the work we seek to do be as easy as it was, relying on the Komen brand to build awareness and save lives. No, now we have to refocus to the mission and remove any hint of politics and work fervently to keep it that way. Komen needs to listen to those people whose blood, sweat. tears and blisters made them the most successful grassroots organization in history. We are saying; don’t leave us here to explain this misstep to our supporters. Fix it. I intend to be part of that fixing. But I can’t do it from outside.

I didn’t give in to Cancer. You gave me tools I could use to fight it. I will not give in to this challenge either. I will not give up on Susan G Komen, I will fight to protect it and better it. I will never give in until this is a world without Breast Cancer. Help me, help you, you need to react.

I hope those of you who have supported me in the past can see beyond the anger of the moment. I hope you will write to Komen tell them how you feel, and if you support Planned Parenthood donate to Planned Parenthood. (Planned Parnethood has already made up all of the Komen money and more). When you donate to Planned Parenthood do it because you support their mission which does things Komen can't. And when you donate to Komen, donate to them for the work they do; Research, education, community outreach, services. 84% or every dollar going toward finding a cure and saving lives.

Thank you all for your support over the years. There is so much more that needs to be done. I hope you can still support me and my fight to end this disease. Now, having said that, you are welcome to share your thoughts, but me… me I need to get walking.

What's that on your shoe?

2012-01-31T19:35:00.000-08:00

My, my this is a fine mess you got us into Ollie....

When the news hit, I received email, tweets and messages asking what I thought about this new development. Susan G Komen, pulling funding, turning its back on the beleaguer Planned Parenthood. Let me start by saying, I appreciate whatever your stance is on abortion. I disagree with those who tried to vilify Planned Parenthood as the poster child for abortion. I completely disagree. What I know is what when we were younger, friends without insurance, could go and have the health issues addressed at Planned Parenthood. I know women who had Breast Cancer discovered and treated were advocated for because of Planned Parenthood. The people it has severed have been the under insured...and for 6 years Komen has funded this organization not heavily but significantly. Last year it was $680,000 the year before $580,000 for the entire country, for the entire year! When you consider how much Komen invests in research and other services, it is a small amount. The donate 93 million a year to outreach services alone. Heck in DC we made 7.2 MILLION in 3 days! BUT it is politically charged. I resented it when people wouldn't donate because Komen funded Planned Parenthood and I have a hard time understanding those who will withdraw their support because they have stepped back.

I wrote to Komen, that to me it is like someone you loved walked out the door with a piece of toilet paper on their shoe. You are embarrassed for them, You wish they would just straighten up and pay attention. I understand much of the funding given to Planned Parenthood for mammogram and screening was difficult to implement and some money wasn't well used... well Komen then you have something people can understand if you redirect the funds. Not "We have a new policy not to fund organizations under investigations by congress." That would make us all slaves to political agendas. And that is exactly what many people are seeing. Some of your most ardent supporters.

I majored in PR in college. If this had been a class in how not to implement a new policy then Komen would have gotten an A+... But it isn't and they therefore have failed miserably.

But, in the end this organization that walked out the door with a piece of toilet paper on their shoes, is someone I love. I love that they have saved thousands and thousands of lives. I love that they have funded the research that will find an end to Breast Cancer. I will continue to walk. And if after all of this you cannot understand why, read what my 3 day friend says in his blog. He had a knack of summing up exactly what I am thinking.

http://furrs.org/wordpress/?p=2668&fb_comment_id=fbc_10150574737369271_21471419_10150574783579271#f378c7688dea1da

Tell you what I think. I think Planned Parenthood just had an influx of cash. That is a good thing. I think Komen has gained some Pro-life donors and lost some Pro-choice donors, and that is very very bad. As bad as it was to withhold funding, finding a cure because Planned Parenthood got money to pay for mammograms, it is equally as bad to withhold funds for finding a cure because the funds for outreach are directed in a different direction. It's about a cure my friends. I have two close friends right now battling Breast Cancer, they deserve a cure. Your children deserve a cure. It isn't political it is human. Susan G Komen is still the best equipped organization to find a cure to Breast cancer in our lifetimes - evenwith a piece of toilet paper on their shoe. I hope they wise up and take a long hard look in the mirror, reverse their decision. But in the meantime, excuse me while I walk.

Everything we see is a shadow of that which we do not see.

Perspective.

2012-01-30T21:04:00.000-08:00

My back was still stinging from the knife that had been used to stab me but not once, not twice but three different times by people in my business life. Two came from agents who aggressively were looking for favors that came out of my unsold listings. And the original knife, of course, came from the client who turned down a wonderful offer on her home, later to re-list with an agent at a much lower price. One of the phone calls I received was from an agent wanting to know all about the house (no longer my listing). Apparently an offer is already coming in on this house at its lower price, with these beautiful sunny days, with this new agent. I could go on and on about the unfairness, tell you stories that would affirm I was wronged, but ultimately its all lunacy and should not occupy much of my attention. I don't know what emotion they are talking about when they say.... "It's a bitter pill best swallowed whole" but this is one of those pills.

On the heels of this, I received an email from my sister about a co-worker who had just died. He passed away after battling Melanoma. His wife is battling Breast Cancer, they have 3 children. Now that... that is unfair.

I later read Bridget's blog "My Big Girl Pants". Bridget hadn't written in months. She is the girl who called me last year to thank me for my fundraising in 2010 and how the money we raised would help pay for her experimental treatment for stage IV Breast Cancer. Bridget was diagnosed at the age of 21.

Her writing puts so much in perspective. She has put aside the dream of children but she is grateful to watch her dog experience its first snowfall. She speaks about a grand adventure this holiday season in Prague and Vienna, walking hand in hand with her Big Man. She speaks with thanks for being able tell her story at a "Getting Started" meeting in Boston. How in doing so she touches people, and they share a tear, and build a resolve and nurture their hope. She says she doesn't feel worthy of the love she feels from this community. And in hearing that I was ashamed for wasting even a thought on the petty things that have been hounding me lately.

I train with two other survivors. They both have been dealt some real blows in their lives. I am glad I was reminded this afternoon that what should matter is love, hope, patience and courage. People who matter should lift you up and not push you down. Life is too precious of a gift to spend it with people who cause you to question any of this. I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who inspire. I am one lucky girl and I thank you all. If you don't know who you are.... I could name names!

Zin with a beautiful walk as a chaser

2012-01-29T16:44:00.000-08:00

Saturday Glenn and I did something we don't often do, we took the afternoon off together. Our dear friend Jackie and Shawn Gorman are big ZAP supporters (Zinfandel Advocates and Producers) and have volunteered for them for years now. ZAP generously donated a package of Zin Festival tickets that we auctioned off at our event for last year's fundraiser. Glenn and I bought these tickets to the Grand Tasting.

Grand it was.... Held in the Concourse in SF, the event is described like this "Savor the journey through the world's most comprehensive single-varietal tasting as you sample from hundreds of barrel samples, new releases and premier Zinfandels. Meet winemakers from each of the unique growing regions and explore the dimensions of this authentically American varietal. This distinctively "A to Zin" experience lets your senses guide a spirited adventure through many tastes of American Heritage Wine."

The concourse is around 3 football field long and wide. It was filled from stem to stern with wines, people, wines and wines. When you walk in they hand you a baguette and a glass. YUMMY! And Jackie and Shawn were perfect hosts pointing us in the right directions.

We enjoyed a personal tasting by Joel Peterson (the Ravenswood guy) and enjoyed ourselves immensely.

We had such a good time...

We continued our time off at Hawks Tavern in Mill Valley. Tyler Florence is one of the partners. Found the food to be well priced. I had duck confit and surprise surprise... Glenn had a burger. They need to work on their pretzel though..... Ah aren't I the critic!

Then on Sunday we turned tables. Glenn went back to work ... and I joined my gals Patti and Leslie for a Point Reyes Walk.

I was excited to share on of my favorite walks on this bright and sunny day. Beginning at Bear Valley Visitor Center and and walking 4.1 miles to Arch Rock.

A lot of the walk is shady. This clearing opens up and the sun takes away the winter chill.

Leslie is doing great with the training. I know she is somewhat worried about walking all those miles. But is is so far ahead of where I was on my first walk. She's got this in the bag.

And we are continuing to hope that Pattu will sign up for San Diego. She is going to train with us.
Our sole sister Barbara Bryant has officially signed up for the SD walk. It's real!!!! I am going to walk 2, 3 days this year!

Waterfalls.... trail side. There are few places so beautiful.

The Pacific Ocean in all its glory will be our picnic spot.

Leslie likes to eat. She had a pack full of food. I had a reduced calorie bread peanut butter and jelly.

Ahhhhh

Moi.

Beggar Gull

Blow up this photo.... see the gopher. he was the cutest thing ever. Certainly not shy.

These little birds were very polite in their begging.

Patti gave our friend some pieces of apple.

OK.... this shot could be on the cover of Sunset! Team are we there yet.... heading out on a trail in iconic California splendor.

We are hitting our stride with our early training. Next walk scheduled for Tues. I hear from Patty B W, she is walking all of NYC so we better keep walking or she will wear us out.

If you haven't already, and would like to buy a square in a Super Bowl Pool for Susan G Komen, go here and read those directions. $$$ to me by Super Bowl and your in! http://www.superbowlpoolsite.com/grid.php5?url=AWTYSuperBowlPoolforSusanGKomen$35 per square $25 to Susan G, $10 to the pool. One winner takes the pool!
We would appreciate your support. After you pick your square you can pay online here with PayPal.

Dusty Showers

2012-01-28T09:13:00.000-08:00

One unexpected gift on my 3 day journey has been making the acquaintance of some true heroes. The first day of the first year that I walked, I didn't quite know what to make of all those men in their pink get ups; The tutus, the wigs, the pink dresses, the helmets and the top hats. It all, all so pink! It all seemed so unmanly for heaven sakes. I wondered if these get ups were just to get attention. I wondered if the men did this because a wife made them do it. I wondered if they were sane or not. I just wondered.

I have learned a lot of things since then. Each person is at the 3 day for a very personal and unique reason. This year I decided to spotlight a few of the 3 day folks just so you can see what this little grassroots movement has created. It has created a community of heroes. I decided to start with Dusty.

Dusty is one of the best known men in the 3 day.

This one fellow that is pretty well known. His name is Dusty Showers. He has even been on Oprah. He was on a segment called "Make Over My Man!" He is a husky, manly man, who wears a pink bra. I've asked his permission to tell some of his story because I think in telling his story, you may better understand these men who embrace the pink in themselves and just why they make us all so much more powerful.

Dusty on Oprah

Along with Tim Gunn of Project Runway!

Dusty Showers, yes that is his REAL name, lives in S. Florida. He has two daughters and owns a company called Creepy Creatures. I find it absolutely perfect that is his profession. His is a pest and wildlife removal business, but he goes an extra step. In a Tamapa newspaper I read...

"Through Creepy Creatures (creepycreatures.net), Dusty will discuss with families what kind of pesky monsters are lurking under beds or in dark closets and then proceed to “remove” the frightening interloper, easing the minds of younger family members who can return to peaceful sleep. “When I was young, I was terrified by alligators and dinosaurs in my room,” the father of two says. “It’s tough if kids can’t get over their fears.” "

This is so perfect because that is what he is doing, whether he knows it or not, for Breast Cancer. He is helping us chase this monster out of the darkness, shed some light on it, bundle it up and put it somewhere where it can't hurt anyone again.

Dusty started in the 3 day as crew. His ex-wife and his ex-mother-in-law are both survivors. They had asked that he come and help when they walked in their first 3 day. In the beginning he didn't know what he was getting into, like a lot of us 3 dayers. Since then he has crewed or walked in 8 events. But the journey started with one event. And like many of us, that event changed him.

As Dusty says, when the first event was ending he saw women and men, finishing with blood, sweat and tears, “I fell in love with you then" he told a camp full of walkers. In the next couple of years he crewed at a hydration station. And that's where the bra comes in. Crew teams often decorate their stations in all sorts of crazy things. One that Dusty was manning decorated their station with bras and they would dress up. One of the women handed Dusty a bra and said “you are wearing this”. At first he said “No I am not!” and then he put on the bra. Nothing has been the same. What he saw was magic. Women would thank him with tears in their eyes. He got a lot of attention for sure. But that was a good thing because it might just help someone think twice about Breast Cancer, and doing self exams or getting a mammogram. This attention he was getting might just save a life.

Dusty moved on to walking in the 3 day a couple of years ago. After finishing his 8th event he has formed his own non-profit, The Second Basemen Inc. and in addition to the 3 day he has lent a helping hand directly.

“I love the men that do the crazy things to get the attention for the cause and to make people smile…but the greatest hero is that man that sits quietly by his partner’s side, holding her hand. Not wanting anything other than for his wife to live. That is a 2nd Basemen.”-- Dusty Showers

He is a true second baseman. He has been there to support this effort in any way he can. And that means so much.

As a survivor even after 16 years, there are times I am self-conscious about my appearance. Those women who have been through this feel self-conscious about having lost a breast or having had it cut into and scarred. There is something about a guy who unabashedly wears his pink that makes you feel they get it and that, that is so amazing. And somehow your own shyness about your looks melts away. So I understand those tears and thanks. I feel the same way when I see Glenn covered in Pink Boas.

For all of us, it helps beyond measure for someone to lift us up. Dusty said the 3 day has done that for him, after a particularly rough patch in his own life. But he, he continues to do that for us.

When someone is battling incredible odds, there are those who make you feel safe and warm. They are there to bring you light when the night is dark and frightening. Thank you Dusty for bringing such amazing lightness to all of us

Dusty just completed a video that will tell you more. He asked survivors to give him a photo so he could include them in the video. I sent a picture of Patti and me, and Leslie. Take a look…
http://vimeo.com/35762930

AND get involved . Donate, walk, crew.... you will find it opens a whole new world.

www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

Making mistakes

2012-01-24T08:04:00.000-08:00

And it started out as such a hopeful day....

The Forty Niners entered Sunday's game with high hopes and huge expectations. The team of Montana and Young, of Rice and "the catch" had lived up to expectations in their last game against the Packers. News media titled their broadcasts as "Return to Glory" in obvious acknowledgement of the golden team that would be going ALL the way. People were making Super Bowl plans. People believed once again their team would soon be wearing ring #6 in final supremacy on February 5. And then it happened.

It was in sudden death overtime. Kyle Williams a 2nd year special teams player was to return a punt and the Niners would score the winning points ending this Championship game. But it didn't go that way. He fumbled. It wasn't even his only mistake, no in fact he had made another mistake that ultimately resulted in the Giants scoring. This one however would result in the Giants winning the game. The "Return to Glory" was cut short. There would be no Super Bowl, no ring, just humiliation.

Twitter in all its social significance (read that as sarcastic) lit up with death threats and suggestion Kyle Williams should jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. As if the man had meant to do it. As it he wasn't the most unhappy person on the planet.
He played badly. He made two mistakes that he and many will never forget. But it shows me in a way how terribly out of whack our society has become.

I don't know how much Kyle Williams is paid to return punts. I assume it would seem like a lot of money to most of us. But most likely whatever he is paid would seem like a small amount in comparison to some on the team. We could debate whether these people are "worth" that kind of money, but what we know is society has deemed they are, or they wouldn't be paid it.

For me, the mistake Kyle Williams made may sit in direct juxtaposition to the money he may be receiving, but neither is based in reality to me.

Mistakes don't make you less of a person, they make you human. A windfall of good fortune doesn't make you a more valuable human being, it makes you lucky. The measure of a person is not tied up in a football game. No mistake in football should garner calls for death. It doesn't speak well of us as a people to try and make things so black and white. There is very little room for that kind of thinking in the REAL world.

In my REAL world, games are not that important. They are fun. It is fun to get caught up with the excitement. I can appreciate the skill of a well placed pass and an impossible catch. I can appreciate a great run back, as someone dodges the defenders all the way to the end zone. And I can groan and be disappointed when someone trips and drops a ball. But when I think about how some people have reacted I am amazed this game, isn't life. It isn't a matter of life an death. Cancer is.

But even Cancer as horrific as it is, isn't something that you can easily make black and white. 40% of Cancer is situational in that if you didn't smoke (for example) you may have avoided getting Cancer. But 60% of Cancer is random or hereditary. So if you drink a soda pop, does that mean you deserve to get Cancer? Should we hate those people whose behavior may have caused their Cancer?

And when Cancer comes it doesn't just bring pain and misery it can bring courage to someone who had none, faith deep in your soul, love for and from your family and community, strength you never knew you had and gifts you never could have imagined. This doesn't mean it is OK to get Cancer...it means even in something so dire, it is a measure of someone what they do with the situation they are in. If you look below the surface, even in defeat you can find something of great value.

The Niners lost their Championship game. For their fans and especially for the players, I feel glad they had the opportunity to have played it. But the ongoing war to find a cure for Cancer I will use every tool I have been given to make a difference. In this, I know there will be ups and downs but I will never take my eyes off the prize. Not a trophy or a ring, but a world in which a little girl can be born and grow to live a full life free of the fear of Breast Cancer.

Now that the GAME is over, life continues. But if you still want to play along and enjoy the Super Bowl, how about buying a square in our Football pool. It's $35 a square and $25 goes to Susan G Komen - $10 toward a prize. We have many squares still available. Whats the expression "Any given Sunday" well here it is any given square could be a winner of up to $1000, but you need to do this now. All payments must be received prior to the Super Bowl. The Niners or Broncos or Steelers may be out, but you don't have to be.... buy a square!

http://www.superbowlpoolsite.com/grid.php5?url=AWTYSuperBowlPoolforSusanGKomen

Save a Pair

2012-01-22T11:14:00.000-08:00

BUY A SQUARE.... SAVE A PAIR!!!!

Buy your square there are 80 left! The pool goes up for every square bough all the way to $1000 to the winner if all 100 square are bought. Its easy. Click a square! Send me a check!

Of the $35 - $25 goes to Susan G Komen, $10 to the pool. If no one wins all the money goes to Susan G Komen and Team: Are We There Yet!

This could be the best super pool EVER! Even if your team is sitting on the sidelines. Have some fun!!!! Do it today!

http://www.superbowlpoolsite.com/grid.php5?url=AWTYSuperBowlPoolforSusanGKomen

PLEASE!!!!!

They are RUNNING - But I am walking....

2012-01-20T16:59:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of people running these days. You hear the ads incessantly. The news is full of them... New Hampshire, South Carolina, Iowa and trust me there's more to come. It made me think that I should write my own ad. I am walking this year not for political office but for what I think is even more important.

I'm walking 120 miles over six days this fall in San Francisco and San Diego to raise awareness about Breast Cancer, find a cure and support those going through this devasting disease.

I'm walking about 600 miles while training for these events because as far as we have come, there is further we need to go.

I'm walking because I, like Susan G Komen founder Nancy Brinker, have made a promise to never give up until there is a cure.

I'm walking to ensure that everyone gets the lifetime she or he deserves.

I'm walking to make sure that every mom gets to help her daughter pick out her prom dress or dance with her son at his wedding.

I'm walking to make sure that no woman has to hear the words "You have breast cancer."

I'm walking because I believe that we can end Breast Cancer in my lifetime.

I'm walking because I was tired of sitting on the sidelines.

I'm walking because research costs money and the more money we raise the more likely it is we will find a cure.

I'm walking to make sure that underinsured women don't have to choose between paying the rent and having a mammogram.

I'm walking for those who lost their battle too young.

I'm walking because I won my battle 16 years ago and because I can walk when they cannot.

I'm walking because Susan G Komen has funded research no one else has, and that funding has led to some true game changing advances.

I'm walking because one person does make a difference but together we can move mountains.

I'm Cathy Youngling and I approved this message.
To support this campaign to end Breast Cancer, please donate.

CLICK HERE

Before the rain....

2012-01-18T16:12:00.000-08:00

I remember last year. It seemed once it started raining it never stopped. I finally went and bought rain pants and shoes. Almost immediately after that the rain stopped.

The winter here in the SF Bay Area has been... VERY dry. I read, with some sympathy, about piles of snow in other places. I have felt somewhat guilty that I haven't been walking more. Hey this year I am supposed to be walking 120 miles for Susan G Komen! So I decided I better get out there amd get one good walk in... the forecast is for at least a week of rain.

One of my favorite walks is to the SF Ferry Building. From Sausalito it is 12 +/- miles. There a pretty good hill in the middle (something I have avoided so far in 2012). Take a walk with me...

Leaving Sausalito...
Homes barely cling to the hillside...
California Oaks...
A 3 day walker....
The bridge, Marin side.
Presidio Yacht Club and the Bridge beyond Horseshoe Cove....

Pit stop at the Discovery Museum.... I thought this was the ladies room... oops.

Cavallo Point

Presidio Yacht Club with the city beyond....

Pride of Madera starting to bloom....

Morning glory on the way up the hill.

You know it is a steep hill when you see a lot of flower pictures...

Scotch broom......

Finally at the start of the bridge. A memorial to service men.

Love this sailor...his pea coat blowing in the breeze.

Bridge....

Lots of work going on the bridge right now....

Have to keep this beauty... beautiful.

Bikes and walkers have to share the same side of the bridge these days....but I don't think most of them can read.

I dont' know what this filming was all about. Some elderly folks... Maybe the 75th bridge anniversary?

They were following directions though.

On this side there was a lot of work, the gift center was empty...

And the workers are destroying the brick walk way. Apparently it doesn't meet ADA codes so those people who paid for a brick, some inscribed with names as a memorial to them, are out of luck. They won't let them have them back either. I believe its a BAD PR move.

Imagine you bought a brick to honor your father, and this is what they do to it.

They blocked off much of the access to keep people back. That meant I had to go the LONG way down to Crissy.
Presidio homes.
Crissy Field....City beyond.
Crissy....
Was Glenn here???? There was a pink feather.
Stillwell Hall
Sports Basement....
Fort Mason
Ship in front of Alcatraz
Gull with Crab
Aliotos on Fishermen's Wharf
Shop on Fishermen's Wharf
Pier 39....
Pier 39 pigeons....
Pink cotton candy - Pier 39
The Ferry Building 10 minutes too late for the Ferry. I had an hour and a half to kill... so I grabbed lunch and a coffee....
Before hopping on the ferry to go back to Sausalito.

Now I am ready for the rain.... BRING IT!

Have you bought your square for our Football Pool???? $10 goes to the prize $25 to Susan G Komen.

I don't think so we only have 8 sold... 92 more to go!

http://www.superbowlpoolsite.com/grid.php5?url=AWTYSuperBowlPoolforSusanGKomen

We Will Never Give Up!

2012-01-16T09:26:00.000-08:00

It started with a promise from one sister to another. The last time Nancy Brinker saw her sister Susan G Komen, Suzy said "I know you can do something about this. I know you can raise money for research and help other women." Nancy Brinker promised her sister she would do everything in her power.

That was over 30 years ago. What was the world like for women with Breast Cancer then. Suzy Komen at 38 felt a lump in her breast. The Doctor she saw was her family Physician. He performed a biopsy and spoke with her about a mastectomy. Suzy was scared about that. She opted to do nothing (perhaps hoping the biopsy had removed the cancer.) At that time in Peoria Illinois there wasn't a Cancer Center, and well, you didn't talk about Breast Cancer. Of course, as you can guess to do nothing was not the right choice. And she eventually met a surgeon who, as good looking as he was, and as charming as he was, proposed a surgery that left her skin intact so that an implant could be put in 10 days after the surgery. But the cancer continued to grow - now in her lymph nodes and lung. Suzy Komen finally ended up seeing Doctors at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Texas. They put her on a nearly lethal course of Chemotherapy and radiation. She lost her hair. She lost weight from the nausea. And when it was obvious she was going to lose her life, she turned to her big sister and asked her to do something about Breast Cancer. Not for herself, but for everyone else.

And Nancy Brinker has done what at the time seemed impossible. She helped to grow Breast Cancer Awareness to a place where it is no long something to hide. It is something to discover early, treat early and defeat. How did she do this. One person cannot change the way society thinks, can they?

No she hasn't changed things by herself, we have changed things. Because when she made that promise to her sister, she made that promise for all of us. She made the promise to other Cancer Survivors, people like me. I have made the same promise to our daughters, and their daughters. When you walk in a 3 day, you are walking along side people who are honoring a promise. Perhaps to their mother, to their friend or to themselves. We are Susan G Komen.

The world today is a far better place for women with Breast Cancer. For many women their choices were few back years ago. Many insurance companies didn't cover the treatment or prevention of Breast Cancer. After all it was easy to not cover it if people wouldn't even admit to having it.

Walking in the 3 day I have seen more words for Breasts than I can count. People use them as their team names, carry signs and boldly wear bras (even men) on the outside of their walking gear. Before Susan G Komen we probably would have all ended up in jail!

Its harder for Insurance companies to avoid paying for treatment and prevention, but it still happens. I do not want a Mother to have the choice of getting treatment or feeding her children. Back then women were often left by their spouses to face this Cancer on their own. The husbands didn't want damaged goods. They certainly didn't want the stress or shame. But now, husbands still leave their wives after they have Breast Cancer, I just have to believe that leaving isn't "understood" like it used to be. Back then, if a woman had Cancer they could lose their jobs. Today, that would be a much more difficult thing to do, but it still happens. Back then because women didn't do "self exams" or have regular mammograms, the Cancer that was discovered was discovered much later in its course, and the mortality rate was higher as a result. Back then the aggressive treatment would be a radical mastectomy and leave women scared and sometimes deformed. Today for some women they can avoid the most aggressive Cancer because they can better diagnosed which type Cancer they have. One woman may not have to have chemo, another might have to have a double mastectomy all her lymph nodes removed, develop lymphedema, lose the use of her right arm, whose loss will keep her from practicing hands on medicine (This is what happened to our National Spokesperson Dr. Sheri Philips 3 years ago). Before a woman diagnosed with stage IV Breast Cancer had a 2% chance of living beyond 5 years, today it is 25%. Today, 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed in their lifetimes with Breast Cancer, of those 1 in 8 will die.

Since Nancy Brinker made her promise to her sister much has been done, but there is so much more that still needs to be done. Who will the 1 in 8 be, your mother, your friend, your sister, you?

At the closing ceremony during the 3 day there is the final moment when the flag that says "A World Without Breast Cancer" is raised.

"Like mountain climbers who plant their flag to symbolize the attainment of the summit, this flag is a proof that we were here."

The words that are spoken during this moment ring in my ears every time my commitment to this cause is questioned. The faces of people we lost flash before my eyes. The future of our daughters come in clear focus.

"Living, breathing and shouting with every step"

and I scream with the crowd....

"We will never give up, WE will NEVER give up, WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP!"

And that my friends is my promise to you. I will never give up until this is world without Breast Cancer.

Did your team lose???

2012-01-15T14:11:00.001-08:00

No worries, you can still enjoy the Super Bowl!

You may even win $1000!

BUY a SQUARE - SAVE a PAIR!

$35 a square - $25 will go to Team: Are We There Yet? and to help them meet their minimum to walk in the Susan G Komen 3 day - 60 mile walk.

$10 will go to the prize. If 100 people play that's $1000!

You send your check written to Cathy Youngling to - 32 Miller Ave. Mill Valley CA 94941

The prize will be sent off on February 6. If no one wins all money will go to Susan G Komen 3 day for the Cure.

CLICK on the link above.

or here.

SHE'S BACK!

2012-01-13T08:19:00.000-08:00

In bright Marin sunshine, on a cool January day, I met my original walking partner and fellow survivor Patti to walk to Cavallo Point from the Mill Valley border. My fellow walkers, that is 10 miles! Yippee the first post Christmas double digit walk and one of my favorites.

What makes a great training walk? For me it is comprised of three things.
1. Variety - it has hills and flat, city and nature, views and points of interest.
2. The company you keep. Walking alone has its place and sometimes that is exactly what is best for the day, but walking with your best friend is always a gift. Walking with a new friend is wonderful too. Walking with your husband is special in its own remarkable fantastic way.
3. A reward. I really love long walks punctuated with rewards. Half way treats are a great way to break the walk up. A treat at the end somehow isn't as motivating..... But I'll take it!

So Cavallo Point as a destination has always been one of my favorite walks.
Yesterday we started at Patti's houseboat and hit the road. We weave through houseboats and make our way along the bayfront to downtown Sausalito, walking by the ferry and tourists and shops. Then along Bridgeway the views are spectacular. Walking up a hill until we make a turn to Cavallo we pass some of the original homes in Sausalito. Walking down into Cavallo you get to see the Golden Gate National Recreation Area raw and natural (ooh you do pass by and smell the sewage treatment plant! ) Then you see it... Cavallo Point. This amazing place used to be a military base. Now it is a collection of charming period buildings surrounding a parade grounds. Some beautiful new buildings cling to the hillside above, all enjoying views of the Golden Gate Bridge and San Francisco. This Lodge is a community resource and also is the home of the Golden Gate Institute and a wonderful Integrated Health and Wellness Center, a cooking school and a spa. But Patti and I were heading to Murray Circle (A Michelin Star Restaurant ).

So basically, this walk has it all. We shared a spectacular flatbread with smoked mushrooms, truffle oil, arugula and shaved pecorino cheese. A lovely salad with local greens, toasted hazelnuts and grapefruit. And we shared our beautiful spot on the deck in our cushioned, pillowed seats at our table with a view. YUP this is perfection.

By the time we got back to her house we had walked 10 miles and enjoyed every minute. It felt so reassuring to know I could still walk the distance without pain or effort. This bodes well for completing 2 - 3 days!

The next walk certainly will have its own beauty. I am excited to start adventuring on the way to the 3 days 2012!

HELP ME...

Here's two ways. Just go directly to www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy to make a donation to my walk... or

BUY a spot in my football pool. Click on a box. They cost $35 each. The pop a check written to me in the mail. Cathy Youngling , 32 Miller Ave.,Mill Valley. The winner of the pool will receive up to $1000 if their square correctly reflects the score of the super bowl. For example if we have 20 people buy a box its $200 - 100 people $1000. The rest of the proceeds will benefit our team's fundraising for Susan G Komen. Hey its better odds than the lotto!

http://www.superbowlpoolsite.com/grid.php5?url=AWTYSuperBowlPoolforSusanGKomen

The sweetness in life

2012-01-11T21:52:00.001-08:00

Today Leslie and I, were joined by her parents Joe and Arlene and of course my sweet little angel Olivia for a training walk on the old railroad right of way that connects Corte Madera to Larkspur.

Leslie says that in reading my blog about my last walk what appealed to her most was the idea that in the middle or end of these walks I usually had a destination that involved some sort of food or drink. Walk in Healdsburg? stop to wine taste. Walk to the Ferry building? have a cold watermelon aqua fresca. Walk to Cavallo? enjoy a cappuccino and muffin... you get the drift.

These first walks of training are relatively short. And I usually pick relatively flat walks to just get the confidence up about distance before we throw in hills and valleys. And when you walk with kids you come with attachments, blankets, coats, strollers and bags of misc. So this was the perfect distance 4 miles total and the perfect destination... Rullis in Larkspur with the very best pastries in Marin.

The weather here has been extraordinary (albeit too dry). Chilly mornings give way to cool days as Mount Tamalpais stands majestically over looking us all.

We met at the Corte Madera Alain Pinel office and got ready to roll. It wasn't long until Olivia was insisting on walking. This little warrior walked or ran almost the entire way. She did ask to get in the stroller once on the way there so she could eat an almond. We all talked and Olivia joined in on occasion. Walking is a wonderful gift in that in addition to the walk itself, when you walk with people you have the best conversations. You learn things you didn't know. You share things that should be shared and everyone is richer for the honor.

At Rulli's eyes popped open as these relatively "New to Marin" people saw the display cases packed full of pastries and goodies worthy of the finest shops anywhere in Italy or France. Me, being on my (let's forget about the holidays diet) grabbed some fruit while Leslie and her crew grabbed almond croissants and a chocolate filled donut called a Bomboloni alla Crema. We snagged a table outside so the stroller could find room and dig in. The pure joy and pleasure on Olivia's face as she enjoyed her Bomboloni was priceless. The chocolate found its way from one side of her mouth to the other with an explanation point on the end of her nose.

For good measure she had a couple of bites of the croissant and finished half a bowl of fruit. On the way back, Olivia talked and walked a little faster and a little bolder. Maybe it was the sugar, or maybe it was she was filled with the sweetness of life.

I know one thing I was. Just watching her and remembering ti wasn't all that long ago I had a call from Leslie saying she had had a seizure. Then the surgery. Then the chemo. Then the stem cell transplant. If a little girl can go through this starting at the age of 2, brings a lot of the rest of life into vivid focus for me.

They call Cancer survivors brave. Not all of them are. I may have been a brave Cancer patient, but I was a frightened survivor who hid from the word Cancer for 14 years. With all that hiding I did, I didn't have a chance to live life to the fullest. I didn't taste the sweetness in all its glory. But I look at Olivia and I see the way it should be. Life will give us some horrible moments we have to endure. It may not be our choice, but if we are lucky enough to get through them, we can allow all of life's sweetness to delight us, so smear across our faces and dot our noses with the indulgence of it all. And the we can dance and skip and walk along the journey of our days.

This walk in 2012 is going to be an enormous blessing to me. Thank you Leslie for allowing me to show you Marin, while you and your family show me something even more beautiful.

HEY folks want to have some fun too? We are having a little super bowl fun here. Click on the link and if you want to play the password is BINGO. Follow the rules and who knows you may be smiling too.

Round 2 - When and Why....

2012-01-10T16:07:00.000-08:00

After yesterday's post it was obvious there were more people who wanted to post. So the following are those "extras" of 3 day walkers and crew telling you when it was they decided to walk and why...

Debbie: I've crewed TB since 2008 and decided to walk my first in 2012. It's intimidating for sure, but I'm committed. I originally became involved in support of my daughter who was diagnosed with late stage IDC at 28 yrs old. Since then there have been several in my extended circle of friends who have been diagnosed, some of whom have lost their battle. We can't heal them personally but we can sure do something to help find a cure and for me, this is it.

Lida: When I went to the closing ceremonies in DC to support my friend Kim who was walking for our friend Michelle who had recently died. I knew I couldn't physically walk it, but signed up for the motocrew and have been on it ever since.

Jill: I crewed in 2010 in memory of my aunt who lost her battle that year. After supporting all of the amazing walkers and hearing their stories of survival and loss, I knew I had to walk in 2011 - if they could do it, so could I!

Terri: I have always been affected by the commercials and would think that is something that I would like to do...Then, I became a survivor and I knew it was something I needed to do. I walked my first 3Day in 2010 and now can not imagine not doing the 3day. 2012 I will be walking my 3rd walk, in October and celebrating my 5 years of being a survivor during the walk.

David: I first began thinking about it the first time I heard about it on the Cleveland airwaves, but didn't get the courage to sign up until March 6, 2010 (Yes, I remember the date!) I wanted to surprise my dear friend Nancy who I had known since kindergarten. At the time she was a nine-year survivor. I had walked with her and her family in four previous Cleveland Race for the Cures and wanted to do something much bigger and bolder. It took me 16 days to raise the $2,300 and I surprised her at lunch shortly after. I walked Cleveland in July 2010 and did one more Race with her six weeks later. Sadly, she took her final turn shortly after and died on March 24, 2011. I dedicated my two 2011 3-Days to her memory...but now also walk for all the Survivors I've come to know since. This year, I plan to walk Cleveland, Philadelphia, and Dallas. I'd better get after it!

Sherri: I lost my mother in 1996 after a long battle with breast cancer. I'm not sure when I first heard about the 3Day, but I had been wanting to do it for a long time. I posted on my Facebook in October 2010 about how much I missed my Mom and how I always wanted to do the 3 day walk. 5 minutes later my cousin posted that she would do it with me.... 2 minutes later my sister posted "me too, I'm in!". The next day my brother-in-law said he wanted to walk also! Our 4 person team raised over $11300.00 and walked Philadelphia in 2011! Our team is signed up again for 2012 with 9 walkers and 2 crew! (and a future team mate who can't wait until 2013 when she will be old enough to walk!). I never imagined when I made that post on Facebook in 2010....... :)

Jessica: In 2005 my future Mother in Law went to Atlanta & was doing this thing called the 3day with her sister & for her sister a 3 time survivor, she told me about it, but I had just had a baby & didn't realize how awesome it was, then in 2007 they did it again!!! I needed to learn more about it, Fast Forward to 2009 & to the Central FL Race for the Cure, the first breast cancer event I had ever been apart of it was a "family tradition" to walk in the race for the cure for Aunt Beverly...& I fell in love w/ atmosphere & after 2 years of saying maybe one day I will walk, I went home & signed up for the 2010 Tampa 3day event, I was then able to convince my sister to walk Boston 2011 where we weren't able to make the fundraising minimum, but we went & cheered driving from FL to VT then to Boston to just be apart of that amazing atmosphere, we are now ready for Tampa 2012!!!!!!!!! Where we will be walking for friends newly diagnosed & for our daughters 6 & 1, our nieces 12 & 15 b/c we don't have any family history of it & want to keep it that way!!!! :)

Kathy: I knew way too many women with breast cancer but was mostly closely touched by my mother-in-law, Polly, who lived with us for almost a year through chemo/mastectomies/chemo then, unfortunately, back with us 6 years later for hospice care. She died in our library with my husband and I by here side. She did get 6 extra years that she would not have gotten without aggressive treatment. Also, my friend, Marilyn, had died of breast cancer before her 40th birthday. She was my "tramp through Europe" friend and touched so many lives in her too short of a life. She was teaching through example all of her life and sometimes by just telling it like it was... She just didn't get enough extra years. Anyway, fast forward to January of 2011 and I was celebrating successful back surgery and decided I wanted to do something that would be a physical challenge but would contribute to a cause I could believe in. DC 11' was a perfect fit.

Staci: The very first time I ever saw a commercial for the 3-Day was in February 2010. I knew immediately that it was something I wanted to get involved in and be a part of because my Grandma had been battling breast cancer for two and a half years, not to mention all the others I knew who had been affected. I registered for the event and was able to tell my Grandma all about it, and she couldn't have been more proud... she even donated. :) When I registered, my family was unaware of the severity of my Grandma's cancer, and she passed away just two short months later on April 19, 2010. To this day, that day in February is the one and ONLY time I have ever seen a commercial for this event, and I know it was all part of God's plan. I was absolutely broken when I lost my Grandma. She was my best friend and the person I always turned to for whatever reason, good or bad. Losing her left such a void in my heart that I know will never be completely filled, but God leading me to the 3-Day and to all of YOU has filled part of the void in such a way that I will never be able to fully express my gratitude. When I stepped foot on event for the very first time, I knew immediately that I wasn't just there for my Grandma and all the others I knew who had been affected. I was also there for all of YOU and your reasons for being there also. You are all amazing, special, and unique in your own way, and this cause has such a great sense of unity that it's almost overwhelming. Thank you from me, and from my Grandmother, for all each of you do in the fight to end breast cancer. ♥

Stephanie: I decided to walk in January 2011 when I saw a commerical on tv. I decided I would walk if I could raise the money. At the time I didn't have any family members so I was doing it to honor my best friends mom who is a 7 year survior. In March of 2011 my aunt was dignosed with breast cancer which gave me another reason to walk :0

Me: When I participated in the survivor circle last year one of the many over whelming emotions that struck me as I stood there looking out was just how many stories there were surrounding me. I make a very very purposeful promise to myself to be really present so I could take it in, all of it. And that was what hit me most.

I looked at as many faces as I could. Some faces were tear-streamed, some just full of hope, some were full of sadness for the loses they had suffered. Without exception you felt as if you tapped one of these people on the shoulder and asked them about why they were walking in the Susan G Komen 3 day, there would be a story worthy of telling.

This simple question is just scratching the surface. This year I hope to spotlight some of the walkers and tell "the rest of the story". Of course you will always hear my story... but Breast Cancer is not just about me. It is about 1 in 8 women in the United States. It is about the people who love those people. It is about the children who have been left behind. It is about how something so devastating can create an ARMY of Pink warriors and how they have created something incredible.

People sometime say to me Susan G Komen is too big. They are right. It is. Because it has been built on the backs of people who have suffered, or who have known people who have suffered because of Breast Cancer, and there are just one heck of a lot of those. There is not one person who walks who doesn't believe in the day that there will be no more Breast Cancer. But until it comes we will walk. Until this comes, we will raise funds to find a cure. But once we do, there will be such as celebration. We will be celebrating the achievement of the goal of Susan G Komen. A world without Breast Cancer.

YOU can be a part of that day. Walk, Crew, Donate. Take YOUR first step and join us.

www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

When did you decide to walk and why?

2012-01-09T20:13:00.001-08:00

I belong to a group on Facebook called "You know you are a 3 day walker when..." There is definitely something special about 3 day-ers. Some of the posts have been like this... "You know you are a 3 day walker when you can't wait for the training to start so you can wear all the pink things you bought on sale during the winter."

I decided to pose a different question and the answer just keep on coming. The question I asked was "When did you decide to sign up for the Susan G Komen 3 day, and why?" After reading these answers, I felt you all should know, I am not the only one out there who has caught the 3 day bug. All these people have super powers, exceeded all their own expectations and have taken the concept of community to an entirely different level. Here are their responses.

Sherry: When my mother was diagnosed in August of 2010. It was too late to walk that year so I immediately signed up for my first walk in 2011 in DC and upon completing that walk, I came home and signed up for 2012. I will walk in her honor, in memory of those that can't walk for themselves and for those still fighting the fight. WE MUST FIND A CURE :)

Michelle: January 2009 I decided after thinking about doing it for 5 years that I was just going to Do It! No breast cancer in our family but other types of cancer. I'm not in the medical field but wanted to help find a cure. 2012 will be my 4th walk!

Kelly: My sister in law was diagnosed the day after I ran in the Race for a cure. It was at that moment I was determined to do everything I could. I found the 3 day a couple weeks later and signed up.

Lori: When I heard of my sister's diagnosis. We'd grown up knowing that there was a history of breast cancer in our family but her diagnosis is the first of our generation and that had a huge impact on me. Not only because it made it more real for me but also because in my mind it meant that my daughter's generation was next and, eventually, my grand daughters's generation.
I walk so that my daughter and my granddaughters never had to hear the words, 'You have breast cancer."

Roxanne: The first time I had ever seen the commercials. I have wanted to do it for years and years, but you know, circumstances! Two years ago, I finally got up the guts to plan one. I lost a very dear cousin 11 years ago, and my sister in law and ...one of my besties are survivors. I became very involved when I lost my cousin. This year will be my second and hopefully 3rd. I would like to walk two of them this year if I can raise the money....:)

Jim: Four years after my mom died from breast cancer and waiting for someone to find a cure, I realized that I needed to become part of the community that found the cure. Less than a day later, I heard the SGK 3-day for the Cure radio commercial and decided that was where I wanted to make a difference. Eighteen walks later, I've never looked back. We are making a difference as a community and we will continue to do so until a cure is found! ♥

(Jim walked in all 14 3 days last year... wow!)

Amy: After my grandmother died in 2007 of a recurrence of a breast cancer she had 30 years earlier. I couldn't find anyone to walk that far with me until I spent a year in Northern VA after my husband was re-activated into the AF. A girl I met ...through a mutual friend, who became a very dear friend, wanted to do it and I said I'm in!! By that time I walked mainly for my grandmother but my 3 daughters as well. My mother in law is a survivor, my best friends mom is a survivor and a girl I graduated HS with was diagnosed at 29. My motto was feet I put on my hat with everyone's names and a quote that said, I wear pink ribbons on my shirt so the only pink ribbons my daughters will have to wear are in their hair!! One walk and I'm addicted :) one of the greatest experiences of my life.

Jay: I turned 40 and was complaining about my lack of volunteer involvement and lack of any chance to contribute to my community, caused by my insane travel schedule for a work. A friend who'd done the 2007 Cleveland 3-Day randomly said "you could always come walk the DC 3-Day with me this October." I said "What the hell" and signed up. That was 11 walks ago.

Keith: I needed to do something more fulfilling in my life than to just donate money. I decided I was going to do something about it and I saw a 3Day ad on TV within a couple of days and it brought tears to my eyes and knew instantly what I was going to do! Now I'm going to walk my 5th Boston 3Day! Hope to meet a lot of you along the way!

Bonnie: I had turned 60 and was feeling very depressed about getting "old." A good friend and co-worker mentioned she was going to a 3-Day get started meeting. She knew of course that I'm a survivor and asked if I'd like to go too. Long story shorter, we both signed up that day. 2012 will be my seventh walk - and I've never felt better about anything in my life. And btw, not feeling old at all!

Anne Marie: The weekend my mom died...I didn't realize I would become so addicted (in a good way!) to it.

Vicki: ‎2006 standing in the shower and thought "You should do that" and I did.

Brandi: I've always had this special spot in my heart for breast cancer events. My Mom and I have planned events in our small town attend them etc. but nothing BIG. Every year I would see those 3 day commercials every year I would say I'm going to ...do that. Never did. Then I met Diane. At first she was just a customer that shopped at our store then she became a friend of my Mom's (my Mom and I work together at the store she owns) then my friend. We were on our way to New York for a buying trip when Diane broke the news that she thought she had breast cancer. I say thought because at this point it was only confirmed through what she read on the pathology report that she was told to pick up to bring to her next Dr. appt. I was amazed that Diane could "run off to the city" knowing she was just diagnosed with cancer and still laugh and have a great time. A few months later after Diane lost her breast and hair all with a smile that 3 day commercial slapped me in the face. I decided that if Diane can do that I can do 3 days and 60 miles. No more saying someday. Best experience ever. I can't imagine not being involved in some way shape or form.

Cheryl: Back in 2008, I did the Avon walk in DC. Didn't do much til I got word that my BFF (Sherry's mom) was diagnosed in August of 2010! I knew then that this was a fight I wanted to "WIN". To put an end to Breast Cancer! I h...ave known Sherry for some time now, we were each other Maid of Honors, we were pregnant at the same time ( 2 Peas in a Pod)….and I love her to death! Now her Daughter and my Daughter are BFF’s and this is why I fight!!!

Kristian: After my mom's diagnosis, treatment and "All clear" was given, I needed to find a way to give back for everything everyone had done for us. She was put on a clinical trial that kicked the cancer's butt and she didn't get sick and was living life pretty normally (well, as normal as it can be dealing with cancer). I don't know why I went to the 3Day website, but I found myself there and before I knew it, was signing up. After hitting '"Submit", I wondered what I had gotten myself into. I wrote and e-mail to my brother (the other half of what would be "The TuTu Brothers") and sister (one-fifth of "The TuTu Family") and sheepishly told them what I had done and asked if anyone was with me. Less than a minute later, my brother replied that he was on his way to register. My sister couldn't due to the growing family, but said she'd be with us all the way.
Looking back, I'm grateful that I hit "Submit" that day and I've thanked God for it everyday.

Kristina: My college roomie and good friend, Kathy had it on her bucket list. She wanted to do it before we turned 45. My mom had been diagnosed 16 years back and I had been doing the Race for the Cure events. My mom was diagnose...d again with metastatic bc in 2008 after 16 years with nothing, that was all I needed to tell Kathy, LET'S DO THIS....little did I know the wonderful 3-Day world I was entering, and my life was forever changed and I am forever grateful to Kathy for having this on her bucket list :)

Kiley: My ex-husband's cousin fought breast cancer for 13 years. A mom's Internet group that I was a part of had some people who did it, and so I did my first in her honor, in Boston. I was instantly and forever changed. She passed away the foll...owing year, and so I've done it in her memory since. Since starting the walks, my aunt was diagnosed and recovered in 2009. Moreover, I've learned so much more and made so many lifelong friends from this event. I've promised to walk until I don't have to walk any longer.

Becky: My college roommate and one of my best friends sent me a message out of the blue in early 2010, asking if I would be interested in walking. I already had experience with breast cancer, having watched another friend's mother go through it--...we lost her when my friend was only 16. Two months before the 2010 walk I found out that a friend at church had just been diagnosed. Then in 2011 three more church friends were diagnosed, so I kept walking. This past Thanksgiving my sister was diagnosed, so I'll keep walking.

Bonnie Cooper: All these beautiful, though sometimes sad posts bring tears to my eyes. But really, there is a very special bond between our community that is like no other, and "like the way the world should always be." In one of the videos (on the 3day....org site, someone says, and I'm paraphrasing here, "it's hard work, but you get back ten times what you put into it....." I'd say we get back 10 MILLION times what we give. Hugggggs!

Mandy: Like Vicki, I also had a "you should do that" moment. But then I had a "But I'm too overweight, it's going to be too hard, I can't raise that kind of money, they say I can't possibly do it" kind of moment. THEN I had a "well, if ...you don't do it, then in 15 years or 5 or 1 year from now your mom or sister or daughter or YOU get cancer you are going to be pissed that you didn't do something" kind of moment. So then, I had an "EFF IT! I'm doing this thing! Watch me!" kind of moment. And here I am, 5 years later. ;)

Carol: In 2005 a member of my husbands family was diagnosed. This was my first experience with breast cancer. I am unsure what type she had but I know that it was probably stage 4. She was diagnosed that summer and passed away before Thanksgiving.... She had three daughters, and one of them was pregnant with her first child. I was heartbroken for them. I signed up after hearing a commercial. I then became pregnant and had to put it off. Like a few friends have already stated, I had one of those wow moments. I had a dream in January of 07 that I walked. That was my first year and this October will be my fourth year walking and my third time crewing. For my daughter and many other amazing people I have met along the way, I am in it to win it!!!

Nancy: In 2007 when my co-worker said Nanc you have to see the pink tents at Belmont plateau...so I drove by when I left work and pulled over just to stare at the sea of hot pink..I had goosebumps just looking at it and what it represented for me ...and so many others....let's just say that I wasn't feeling my best that year...but I decided then and there I was walking next year and a couple months after my poison potion(as I like to refer to it) was finished ..there I was...captain of a team ...loving every minute and haven't thought for a sec about not walking again...I can't not walk...2012 will be year 5! Actually its 5 years this month since my 1st surgery.

Mel: I decided to walk after I finished my first round of Chemo. I heard they were doing the Twin Cities walk and how could I possibly not. My friend Shelly(We met in Chemo treatments) and I signed up and looked at each other and went we survive...d Chemo we can do this. Sadly, Shelly lost her battle three days before the 2009 walk. I walked with her in my heart and in her shoes for her girls. It was not a choice but a true calling for me. When I arrived to the city of tents in 2009 I went in tot he survivors tent and put up Shelly information and stood there crying silently. I hear these words uttered on the air, "Never give up but always in your heart." I still have her shoes and I will be bringing them with me to Philly and S. F.

Jan: My daughter saw an ad back for the 2001 Avon 3-Day and asked if I would join her. We participated on October 2001 in Atlanta and 2012 will be mt 10th 3-Day! I met a group of wonderful folks in 2004 and we formed the team Individuals United in Washington DC and have been participating ever since. For 2012 we are hoping to reach the $300,000+ mark for fundraising!

Pinky B. Oldfatguy: ‎3 of my sisters and a niece walked Chicago in 2K4, then the niece and her sister did it in 2K5. One of the nieces Med Crew'ed 2K6. No one was going to d it in 2K7 so I stepped in. Been there 5 times now, raised over $18000 in 5 walks and I am signed and primed for 2K12 and walk #6.

Barbara: I decided in April 2011 that i would be walking in 2012 as i still needed some reconstruction surgeries myself in 2011 in Aug/Sept. I have done the 5K's yearly since my diagnosis late in 2008. I still worry if I will be able to complete the full 60 miles but that is my goal! I have some great team members I will be walking with who are veteran walkers!

Karen Conklin: I heard something about it on the radio and I thought that I'd like to do the walk in honor of my aunt. I went to check out the website and when I saw the "raise money" part I knew it wasn't happening at that point and forgot about it. Fast... forward to March of a year and a half later and I was bored at the gym and needed a challenge, something to work for, and went back to the site and found an information meeting and signed up. When I called my mom, I was so excited, and she told me my other aunt had been diagnosed THAT DAY (I had no idea there was even a problem with her). It was meant to be.

Carrie: When my friend Kim told me she couldn't walk because her breast cancer had spread to her lungs. So I walked for her. And I still walk for her, 2012 will be my ninth 3 day. And I will keep walking till there is a cure. Then I can rest.

Sharon: The day I completed my first round of chemo and radiation....I am 4th generation breast cancer in my family...I never want her to have to look into the eyes of her children and explain just exactly what "mommy has breast cancer" means....Sh...e was 4....My husband walked when I was sick to walk for myself...this year we will walk together, my daughter who is now 13 is planning on signing up for the youth corps, she has cheered us and helped raise money every year...I'm not the only survivor in the family...we all are!

Michelle: I decided to walk in 2008 after I lost my sister (who would've turned 30 on her birthday) to breast cancer. A group of us decided to walk in Atlanta that year because the last day of the walk was on my sister's birthday. I walked 28 of the 60 miles with a broken foot and I enjoyed every single minute of it, pain and all! The pain that I had was nothing compared to the pain that she went through.

Mary: In 2008 I supported my sister who walked in honor of her friend and my sister in law that walked in memory of her mom at DC. 2009 was a rough year as we lost both my moms brothers to cancer, we had lost our dad to cancer when I was 9. That ...same year my daughter cut her honeymoon short due to a lump that ended up benign. When my sister returned from the 2009 walk I told her I had to join her. We had a long discussion and by the end of our call I realized that while I might never walk I could crew. This year will be my 3rd and 4th walk to sweep. I volunteer to drive and very few people ever realize that I have limited up and down movement and no rocker movement in my left foot. Cancer took the important men in my life but the 3 day gives me hope for a cure in my lifetime.

Pala: The walk came directly in front of my house in 2007, 2 years after I had completed my treatments. It was emotional to stand in the yard and cheer walkers on, but I did (my husband couldn't handle it). They came by again in 2008 and this t...ime we knew about it in advance so we made up some signs as well as cheered them on (this year my husband was able to handle it a little). In 2009 I decided I needed to see what it was like to experience it from the Walker side, just once. Yeah, I was only going to do it once. HA! I actually registered for 2010 before my 2009 event even took place! Not only did I walk in 2009, but I have done 2 walks in 2010, 2011 and will again in 2012! :D And my husband will be Crewing his 4th, 5th and 6th events this year. He's come a long way, baby! (I will also be getting my first Crew experience this year) I walk so that my grandchildren and their generation will not have to be concerned about this disease and hopefully will only read about it in history books.

And me? Well, I had heard those commericals for years. As a survivor I would look at them and say... that's nice those atheletes would go and torture themselves like that. But.... I could never do that. I said every time I first heard those commericals... "Everyone deserves a lifetime."

Yes I thought, they do. But me, I am an overweight aging woman, with a bad back and bad knee. I am busy I thought. I think I also thought if I walked in a 3 day I would catch it again. Then I got a phone call from Patti, my very dear friend. She told me she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Almost at the exact same moment there was one of those commericals on the TV. Somehow I felt like I could at least try. That was 3 walks ago. I am walking in my 4th and 5th walks this year. What I found along the way was I wasn't as old as I thought, I was far more fit than I imagined, my knees didn't hurt as much, my back stopped aching, I lost a few pounds (few being operative)
and I found I wasn't going to catch Cancer I was going to beat it's hinny. I found my power. A power I never knew I had. I saw that same power in the people walking with me. AND I will never give up until this is a world without Breast Cancer. I am so so so very proud to walk with these magnificent people. the best of the best. Heroes all.

So how about you.... are you still thinking about it? 3 days - 60 miles? You can do that!

Even if you don't you could crew, or go and cheer. You can donate to the walk and YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Together we will be the cure in our lifetime.

www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy to donate

www.the3day.org to sign up

$25 discount going on right now.... DO IT!

What it feels like...

2012-01-07T10:00:00.001-08:00

A survivor friend posted this recently and to me it sort of sums up how you GET through the whole losing a breast thing...

You have to picture me as a little girl, and a teenager and a young woman. I used to change into my clothes UNDER my Lanz nightgown. Let's just say, I was modest. I wasn't ever comfortable with people seeing me, at least that way! Back in college was the first time I recognized that there are times when you simple have to throw modesty out the window.

I had a friend ( a sorority sister ) whose family owned a truck company outside Stockton. She lived there with her mother in the house that sat outside the chain link fence. I had had one of those days. I missed a plane, had to fly to a different airport and take a bus back to Stockton. The bus broke down. When I got to my car it had a flat tire. Yup... one of those days. I got home, got dressed and headed out to see my friend Carol. She had told me about their guard dog "Champ". Champ as a puppy had been hit by a car and he had a head injury.

Ok right about now you are thinking ... she is making this day up.... but I am not.

As I walked up to Carol's house here comes Champ. His head was down, his teeth were bared. He was growling , "Good Champ..good champ"... I said as I backed toward my car. Then he lunged for my neck. I jumped back and he landed on my right breast. I was wearing a halter dress and immediately the dress was soaking in blood. Carol came out and grabbed the dog. Her boyfriend and she took me to the hospital. The doctor on call was an orthopedic surgeon. I don't think he spent much time with 20 year old breasts. He seemed intrigued as he put in 11 stitches. And so did the other doctors in the ER who poked their heads into the room as I sat there with my breast exposed. Somewhere between the dog bite and the 2nd young doctor poking their head in... I started to laugh. And no, I wasn't on drugs. Later my Mother cried and siad "Now you'll never get married!" I laughed then too.

When you have breast Cancer and you are going to have a Breast removed, you are unavoidably unnerved. You feel self conscious and worry you will be unattractive. I have never had reconstruction, which was a choice I reached in a way out of a moment similar to the cartoon above. Before my mastectomy, we went to see the surgeon. He had me strip to the waist. He examined my breasts and proclaimed, you have very nice breasts. Somehow that isn't what I wanted to hear when I was ready to lose one. Then he said. You should lose weight. I wouldn't want to do surgery on you at the weight you are. You can treat the reconstruction like a gift to yourself after you lose weight.

Ahemmmmmm. Really? My husband and I left the doctor's office, and I broke into tears. He looked me square in the eyes and told me he loved me with or without breasts and it truly didn't matter to him. After all this time the fact that I didn't have reconstruction doesn't hurt me, the insensitive comments of this doctor still do.

For the first few years I was very nervous about what I looked like without a breast. As I get older though I think... what the hey. There are times when I would like to wear lower cut tops, and then I discovered camisoles. I wouldn't mind being like my reconstructed sisters who can go braless with their improved versions. But honestly I have no regrets. I am alive. I didn't have to have the sometimes painful process of reconstruction.

There is something that happens when you have a breast removed. Sometimes what happens is you lose a breast but you gain something more important. For some, like me, you gain a true sense of who you are. And that .... that I am happy to flash at any excuse. GOT BEADS?!

Blackie Pasture to Belvedere

2012-01-04T13:32:00.001-08:00

A short but special walk with some wonderful people.

You all, who know me, know how much a care about little Olivia. Olivia just finished her chemo and stem cell transplant, then recently had an MRI to check to see if any nasty Cancer was coming back. Honestly, as Olivia's Grandmother said, it was "trust but verify."

I trust that the Cancer is gone.... but I was elated to hear the confirmation today that indeed, no signs of recurrence were seen on the MRI! And Olivia's mood reflected that good news.

We met at Blackie's Pasture which is at the start of one of the most beautiful walks in the world. Its called the Tiburon Linear Park (but locals call the it Tiburon Bike Path). Everytime I walk here I say the same thing, "How lucky are we to live here?" Along the path you can see Sutro Tower and parts of SF , a peak of the Golden Gate Bridge, Sausalito, Strawberry, Belvedere and the homes of Tiburon. You start at a field that an old horse named Blackie used to call home. Now there is a sculpture in its place, standing in the same pose he did before. The same sway back, and with the same ownership of the land around him.

I picked this path for our walk because it is an easy stroller walk. Olivia is 3, and I remember my daughters. At 3 they were the best hikers... they preferred to ride (usually on their Dad's back or shoulders...) It wasn't long into the walk that Olivia wanted to get out and walk. Well, she didn't walk she ran. It was as if she was running with a new vitality and freedom that circumstance had recently stolen from her and my heart just soared.

VIDEO of Olivia Running!

Well, on we went chatting and planning... What should we do for our fundraiser? Where shall we go for training walks. What's wrong with politicians? Meanwhile Olivia, ran, and walked and smiled and soaked in life. What a great day.

As we came to San Rafael at Belvedere we took a right turn... Hugging the shore I found a bench and snapped a picture of Grandmother, Mother and daughter....Priceless...

Especially when Olivia posed for the 2nd picture... how 3 year old of her...

It's like she is sticking that tongue out to Cancer!
That's right Miss Olivia... you show Cancer whose boss. You make me believe in miracles. And you make me want to walk 5000 miles.

HEY YOU!
I am walking in 2 walks and will need to raise $2300 for each for a total of $4600. I could certainly use your help. Then we all can help create a world that Olivia and other little girls can live without having to ever worry about Cancer. Wouldn't that be great?

DONATE

Living with Fear

2012-01-02T09:39:00.000-08:00

Today is a brand new day. Its a brand new day in a brand new year. The page is blank and we are able to write a new chapter of this life we are living. But for those of us who have, or are, battling Cancer, and those who are living with them, it is as if you are given a pen that may or may not have enough ink to tell the story.

There is so much to say, but as you put pen to paper, you see the ink isn't flowing as easily as you would like. It makes you nervous and hesitate. You get distracted as you scribble on a piece of scratch paper to start. Finally, you start writing, but a piece of you is wondering if you can finish the job. That fear and worry translates into a story that is less than complete, just through the hesitation.

If you look around you, you may see others are holding their breath to see just what you will do with this story you have to tell. Their own lives, being so closely connect to yours, turn on what you do. Live in fear and they are imprinted with that fear as well. Live with fullness and optimism and they will soar. Or so you think.

This isn't easy because if you are afraid, and you simply act like you are not, the life you live isn't as full, it is false. It is less powerful because it isn't genuine. What is that expression.... "The truth shall set you free." That is so very true. Living an authentic life is a powerful thing, and I believe it is so powerful it can actually conquer fear.

I have been doing a good deal of reading of powerful people's blogs. Other survivors who are striving to live that authentic life and cancer warriors who are openly sharing their feelings and lives. But there really isn't as much you read from those people who are supporting warriors. I wonder if this is because the supporting cast feel they must always be optimistic and never appear fearful.

I will tell you the truth here, I am very afraid for some of the people I know who are fighting Cancer today. It may take a miracle for them to survive. I KNOW that. But I do believe in miracles. Part of defeating an enemy is understand them. You need to stare them in the eye and come to feel them. Let them see you. Let them see you and the armies around you who know together, as they put their power to the purpose, your enemy has no chance. God and his angels have heard their collective voices. This is what miracles are made of.

But it all starts by not being afraid to pick up the pen and tell the story. Are you telling your true story, or are your sugar coating it to make it easier to tell. When you do that, you are saying the thing you fear is more powerful than you. Now.... you wouldn't want to do that would you? Pick up your pen. Shout it to the heavens, in this new day make the story you tell real.

I resolve to.....

2011-12-30T11:07:00.001-08:00

As I sit on the threshold of a new year, the traditional exercise of setting resolutions is too hard to resist. There are the standard ones, and ones that seem to be ALWAYS on my list, lose weight, save money... you know those elusive goals 98% of people seem to focus on. And yes, for me, they are still wonderful things to work to obtain. But this year, partially because of Leslie's new blog, I am asking myself a different question.

What qualities in me do I want to work on to make more supportive and positive than they have been in the past. You see, the truth is, those things that weigh us down are often qualities are are also a gigantic positive for the majority of the time. What are those things in you that you need to create more balance with?

Here are a few of mine. I encourage you to take a moment and think about who you are and how you can be a better version of yourself. For after all, in the end, I am a typo... I don't know about you...

COMPETITIVE

There is no doubt I am competitive. That drive to be the best has taken me a long way. It also has held me back and distracted me at times from other important things. I have rarely accepted the idea that I cannot achieve anything I set my mind to. Reality is, we are not in control of everything around us. So sometimes, I fall short.

Real Estate is a perfect foil for my competitive edge. I am a great Realtor and I have achieved a lot in the time I have been working in this business. I have been the #1 agent in Mill Valley at one time. That was a good feeling for a minute, because as things go, I wasn't the #1 later. At some point I readjusted my idea of success and tried to be happy with being a top Mill Valley agent (as in top 10). But honestly, really honestly, I am not a happy person about someone else doing better than me. That is brutally honest. I am happy when I am the best. This is something I need to work on.

In the Susan G Komen 3 day, I have been the #3 and #4 top fundraiser in the walks I have participated in. Seeing other's fundraising usurp mine and move me from #1 to #3, was hard to watch. I can't control this. I imagined they planned on late contributions just to beat me! But I worked at being happy for them and for Susan G Komen. Because I had to work soooo hard at this, the time I spent doing that, took away from the meaning of how well I had actually done. But luckily I never forgot WHY I was doing this. Meeting the people I have me along the way in this journey has reminded me what the real prize is... and how important it is. That I think is where we need to put our focus... on the WHY.

The WHY is to end Cancer, to support others, to help build awareness.If I have someone around me who has the potential to do that better than me this year I will relish in the feeling of helping them do that. I love watching Myriam (my partner) build her confidence and business, especially since it is our business. If I help others be successful then part of their success is mine!

EXCESSIVE

Is a little enough? Can I stand to do things part way? Well, I look around my house and in our basement and I would say... sure doesn't look like it. Yes I am excessive. I almost never do anything part way. If I do, I feel less than complete. I cook for a party and I cook enough food for an army and with the best. I throw out the budget and the calorie concerns and cook for a week.

This excessiveness has led to some wonderful creative events and moments. Because I have the ability to throw out the "cant's" somehow that becomes possible. And WHY I do this is I want the people around me to enjoy life. I like seeing them enjoy what I create. Now though, I see the remnants of this excessive life, and feel those things are not the point at all. The moment is. So my challenge will be to create the moments without the excess of things. Walks at Point Reyes, sailing on the boat, soup parties (being ok with a pot luck)...yep there is a lot I can do to refocus this area.

SELF CRITICAL

Criticism can help you be better. To evaluate what you do and how you do it can help you to fine tune and improve. Sort of like this posting, I am looking at what works and what doesn't. However for me that criticism can sometimes be overly harsh. Especially in the past my weight helped define how I felt about myself. In the efforts to be perfect I didn't allow myself the chance to be human. I had to be GOOD all the time or I would be very BAD. I was either "on program" or I was "cheating". Still (and Christmas is a great example) if I eat a cookie, I eat all the cookies as if by eating them I destroy the evidence of having had one.

Having one cookie, one piece of chocolate has never been something I have been able to do. It comes from a perfectionism that is not healthy. WHY do I do this? It is partially about what others think of me, but it is largely what I have come to expect from myself. If I look closer at this is directly related to that competitive side of me. It is seeing things in excess. GOOD, BAD... no shades of grey for me. And for me the answer has to be the same... refocus.

Can I accept being #2, being the weight I am at the moment, scaling back,making a mistake? If I do these things what would it give me?

To use competitiveness in a more constructive way: Being ok with #2 or 3 or 4 or even 25 would give me the ability to focus on helping others do more. If more people, do more, we all are better off. Especially when it comes to raising money for a great cause like ending Cancer.

To avoid excess: if I focus on the quality of my time with friends and use the beauty of what is around us to be our venue, then I will be able to give more of myself to them and me. I won't be left with bills or boxes of excess. I will be filled with memories and moments.

To allow for a mistake: If I take the focus off perfection I can enjoy everything more. If I focus on health versus weight that would be much easier. My walking and taking time to attend to myself is that kind of "treat" that is far more valuable than a cookie. But one cookie shouldn't lead to a dozen if I allow imperfection. It would feel good to allow the same understanding I have of others for myself.

No one on December 31st has a clue whether this retrospection and planning will ultimately result in change. But without taking the time to really access where you are you have no idea of where to go. I hope in 2012, I am able to make some progress on these three areas of my life. I wish for you a year that you are able to create full of what you value in your life.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

DONATE to my WALK.... I still have a goal of $17,000 . You sure don't want me to get to $16,999!

www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

Christmas time was here

2011-12-28T07:41:00.001-08:00

Time flies when you're having fun. It wasn't all that long ago, through my eyes, that we were blessed to share Christmas joy with our two little girls. With every surprise, those little faces would light up like neon signs full of excitement and belief. Santa was a jolly man who came to our house for our party and down the chimney on Christmas eve with amazing gifts, filling the needlepoint stockings to overflowing.

Now the girls are young women and I feel somewhat older and shorter than I did before. But Glenn and I did our best to still bring some magic to each of them (and to Chris our son-in-law).

It was a beautiful Christmas. We spent Christmas eve visiting Glenn's Dad and then our dear friends Chuck and Stephanie at their annual Christmas Eve feast.

All grown-up - The Youngling girls

Throughout this Christmas I listened to Allison talk about her life in Virginia and Katie talk about her life in Washington. Learning about their jobs and plans for the future you are drawn to think back about other Christmases....

The first Christmases when Glenn's train circled our Christmas tree and Allison's eyes filled with wonder. The nights when Glenn would carry them asleep one by one into their beds after visiting Oma and Opa on Christmas Eve. The carols playing as they awoke and scurried to see what Santa had left them.

This year in the morning as the coffee brewed, we were mindful that Allison's husband Chris had arrived via shuttle from the airport at 2 am. Our start to Christmas was slower for sure, but still had magic. From the "gag" boxes to hold two IPads, to the New Braunfels ham and eggs with cinnamon rolls, there was tradition and fun. The stockings were still overflowing. The smiles were still big. And my heart was full to have my family together (if only for a short while). Now as the "clean-up" begins, I am thinking back on a good Christmas. Thankful to have been blessed with a family I love. Sad we can't be closer. Longing for the day we could be again. Thank you Santa I got just what I wanted.

Now on to 2012. Maybe Allison could make another appearance as Father time?

Ok, that IS asking too much.

As you know in 2012 I will be walking in 2 Susan G Komen 3 days. That means, I need to raise at least $4600. My goal is $17,000. So I need your help. I have raised $2300 already and that is GREAT! Thanks to anyone who has stepped up to help. It means a lot to me... but more importantly it will be part of the answer to Breast Cancer in our lifetime. You are saving lives.

As you close out your tax year, a donation would be wonderful, for you and for this worthy cause. To donate.... go there

www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

The good in people.

2011-12-21T14:14:00.000-08:00

Tis the season.

For the past month or so the requests come in. It may be from the Williamsburg Colonial Foundation, the local effort to save the Scout Hall, The Humane society, The Food Bank, St. Judes, the Discovery Museum, American Cancer Society, A sock or warm coat, or business clothes drive, Mercy Corp, Americorp, NAMI, Save the Children or even from Cathy Youngling on behalf of Susan G Komen. It's a time of giving and organizations recognize that at the end of the year many people do all their yearly giving. For some organizations without the Holiday Season, they would not survive.

Especially when the economy is tough, and those discretionary funds are harder to find, those requests can sometimes break your heart. You would if you could but .... can you.

Giving is a wonderful thing. That expression that is it better to give than to receive, is one I believe in. But in the past few days I have seen the giving spirit in others lift my holiday spirits, inspire and ignite my will to do more.

Last night I read a post by one of my Facebook 3 day friends. Many of these people I have not "met" yet. But I know them. This community shares a lot that make us a kind of family. We are pink sisters and brothers. There was one who had a close friend, a mother of three whose power had just been turned off. The offers to assist came in fast and furious. The original request was for firewood to heat their apartment, but the offers were to pay off the bill, provide clothes and Christmas gifts and more. It makes you take a step back and smile. There is good still in this crazy world loads of it.

I had seen a news story about secret Santa's who were going to the local Kmarts and WallMarts and paying for the layaway bills of strangers. I saw another about a man who randomly gives out $100 bills, without judgment but only with love and how that simple act changed some people's lives. They lived their lives differently with more purpose knowing someone cared about them.

Today I got an unexpected gift from Santa...Pink Santa.

Santa gave me an unsolicited donation of $10. He is doing the same for 99 other 3 day walkers. Santa (Mike) has volunteered in 11, 3 days as crew. I saw him in DC and gave him a BIG hug! But I never knew who he was. He has made it his personal mission to end Breast Cancer. He wears pink shoes for Breast Cancer Awareness. His passion spills over to people around him and he inspires them.

Today, his gift made me smile and think...what can I do to make some one's Christmas brighter. How can I share the Christmas spirit with someone who may need the joy.

How can you be a secret Santa this year.

You may find your gift to them, is the best one you will ever receive.

Our daughters are due in any minute so it may be after Christmas that you hear from me next. Let me know about how you shared the spirit this year.

P.S. Only $525 from $2300. If the spirit moves you to donate.... click here...

www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

I see Christmas in your eyes.

2011-12-18T17:49:00.002-08:00

Christmas is a whirling spinning twirling kaleidoscope of noise and lights and kinetic activity. It seems at times we forget why we jump in with all our hearts and minds each year to "do it again." I have to admit when I start pulling out the lights and decorating the tree, I ask myself how long can I do this? I have no children who live near home. The tall "real" tree that has always been a must at our house, is expensive and hard to manage. Ladders are a must to get up to the top, and Glenn is less than enthusiastic about lights. Our house is in a state of "getting ready" for several weeks. Instead of a home full of Christmas cheer, for those weeks it is a storage room gone bad with boxes piled high and burned out bulbs strewn about.

Every year since I owned a home I have had a Christmas party. Even 8 months pregnant with bruised feet, I made the cookies and laid out a spread for friends. I prepared a party after I felt a lump in my breast intent on not destroying the magic for the kids. The following year I celebrated the end of chemo with a few extra glasses of champagne. We have had parties through the kids baby years, teen years and I remember our son-in-law Chris' eyes at his first party. Yep those Youngling Christmas parties have had their moments.

In the past couple of years we have scaled back and made the party a grownup affair. Morphed the turkey and ham into a crab feed. But this year.... without a doubt, I knew it was the year the original Youngling Christmas party needed to make a return. Santa needed to come back to our house.

This past year has been very special. I have been supported by some incredible people as I made my way to the Washington 3 day- People who seem to always be there for me, through all these years - Neighbors who now have small children, who give me a big smile as I remember our children when they were little - Clients who have understood my involvement with Susan G Komen and my passion to find a cure for Cancer. Each and everyone, I felt, were overdo for a thank you and a little Christmas magic. But after getting to know the Purchase family, I was completely convinced, THEY all needed a party of love, magic, miracles and maybe even a little indulgence. And as we spin and get tossed around, this was for certain a time to believe in Christmas again.

And you know what... I was right. I saw it in the eyes of everyone in the room. As Santa made his entrance, it was hard to tell who was more excited, the children or the grownups.

As child by child found their way to Santa's lap, the smiles and love in the room grew. The little ones too frightened to come close, the bold ones who jumped right on board, each reminded us what it felt like to believe. To believe that Santa Claus with his bag of gifts, can come down a chimney in every home to every child in the world. To believe he could be in malls and television and the Youngling's living room. To believe.... that is the gift we each and everyone needs to accept with all our hearts.

And sometimes that is so very very hard. So we need a little help remembering.

As secret wishes are told to a man in a red suit and white beard.

And as we watch them it all comes back. Magic does happen.

Gifts are given. Dreams do come true.

Our requests become more specific as we test Santa to see if he really is all THAT magical.

Xbox 360s instead of a "real" doll.

But our Moms are taking note of the earnestness of the request.

Santa has made his notation on his naughty and nice list.

While others are still mesmerized by the eye glasses and the jolly man.

A little grown up 7 year old respectfully asks not to be forgotten.

The twinkle from Santa's eyes mirrored in his.

And then it happens. MAGIC. Olivia well enough to be in a crowd flies onto Santa's lap with her list of dreams. A very specific list for a 3 year old. While everyone in the room has one wish at that moment, and one wish alone. No more Cancer. Many more smiles. Many more years of magic for this little one.

Dressed in her finest, in a silk dress her great grandmother's crystal beads Olivia with so much joy had her moment one on one with Mr. Claus.

And I know she will get her wish. And I, will get mine.

While the rest of us will find more meaning this year as we thank God for our blessings.

And for the gifts we have received.

We are grateful for family who help us face our fears, and find in that great reward.

And as we grow a little older, how to find that magic doesn't need to disappear.

We find there is magic all around.

And even as Santa "leaves the building" we are celebrating that he came.

As we hold tight to the things and people we love.

This was a special party for all of us. I know Olivia said it was the best in her life. I have had a much longer life than she has and I have to say, it was one of the best in mine. Thank you Olivia, and all the rest of you who brought a little magic back to our house.

I do believe in Santa. I do believe in miracles.

And so do these girls. Hopefully they ALL will walk this year in the 3 day (SF ir SD). One step at a time, they will find the impossible can be made possible.

Glenn knows that!

P.S. I am $659 from hitting the minimum fund raising goal for 2012. $2300 if you donate, you can help me make another dream come true. http://www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

Getting ready to party!

2011-12-15T06:32:00.001-08:00

There used to be a train that went around the tree. There was an angel on the top of the tree.

Now the train is put away under the house, and there is a Santa where the angel used to be.

Christmas at our house has gone through a few changes, but some things have remained the same.

Every year we have had a Christmas party. It has been different sizes, depending on circumstance and timing. In the past few years, it has been relatively small. This year will be a little bigger... (in fact I am renting a tent to put off the kitchen for a little more space.) This year we will be celebrating in the old fashioned Youngling way. My special connection with Santa has given me the gift of being able to ask for party representation, and this year he will not disappoint. Our house will be filled with excited children who get to have their one on one with the big jolly fellow. They can get in their requests for what they wish for Christmas. I always have a moment with the big guy myself and this is what I will be wishing for.

Dear Santa,

I could ask for a new range. I could ask for a
diamond ring. But I have a different wish. Please give me a world without Cancer. I know it is a lot to ask. This is a very big wish. I want chidlren
to wake up Christmas morning and from that day on, never have to fear that
their Mommys and Daddys, sisters and brothers or even they themsleves might die from Cancer.

Santa if you do this for me, I will promise to always
leave Nana cookies and whatever beverage you choose, every Christmas
for as long as I live.

Thank you , Cathy

This year Olivia and her family will be coming to our party for the first time! In the picture below you will see another Cancer survivor (Julie) who must have asked very nicely for a healthy life. She beat Colon Cancer and now is working for the Center for Integrated Health and Wellness at Marin General. It is amazing to watch her. She has done incredible things to help create a better world for those who are battling Cancer.

So you see.... Santa does listen. What are you asking Santa for Christmas?

Now on to making that Buche de Noel....

What makes a real Survivor

2011-12-10T06:45:00.000-08:00

What is a survivor... For you, who are reading this blog, my guess is your are thinking Cancer Survivor. But for a large portion of America, the word Survivor means something else. It means that person who outwitted, outplayed and outlasted the last contestant on the show of the same name to stand at the finale collecting a check for a million dollars.

I have watched this TV show on and off since the beginning when Richard Hatch who outwitted the competition to win the million. He also later spent time in prison for tax evasion. It may seem to most of us the people who succeed on this show are sneaky, unworthy, low lives who do not deserve the attention much less that kind of money. But the show does have lessons and I think it a worthwhile exercise to take a look at a few of these.

SKILL - Ozzie (never won) Certainly there has been people good at challenges, but none come close to Ozzie. And he knows it. The problem with Ozzie is he is blinded by his own ability to maneuver the game, and inevitably he is blind sided while he is admiring how well he plays.

TRICKERY - Russell (never won) He could be the most hated on the show, but somehow people follow along with his game. They become his pawns, and while he is admiring his skill, he finds people will award the money to the least of two evils. Since he is so evil he has lost a couple. Richard Hatch (won) the first winner. He lied to everyone and everyone believe whatever he said to them.

HONOR and COURAGE - Fireman Tom (won ), Ethan, Cancer survivor (won) These two players were honest, fair and honorable. They won anyway. Ethan in Particular has done some incredible things to benefit others since his time on Survivor. He also battled Cancer.

INTELLIGENCE - Yul Kwon (won) former attorney and current TV host. He played an intelligent game and won. Others have tried to think their way to the million, Yul actually did it.

COLLABORATION - Coach (Has not won yet)He is a little strange this one. The "dragon" slayer has in the current Survivor built a team around his high brow zen like attitude. But how real is he????

LUCK - Tina (won because Colby made a bad move)Quiet nice Tina was taken to the final tribal counsel by Colby the Cowboy who had outplayed her..but unfortunately he must have not outwitted her, because they picked Tina as the millionaire.

FLYING UNDER THE RADAR - Vecepia (she won because people didn't want other to win!)She was pretty down low during the show, until the final show where she basically won by default.
ALL AROUND - Sandra (won 2) Here's another one who laid low, played strategically, wasn't a physical threat, but was aware and made moves when she needed to. To win 2 times makes her the ultimate Survivor Survivor.

But that my friends is the making of a TV show. It's different in the REAL Survivor world. Ethan may understand that. He has had his Hodgkin's Lymphoma has returned. He had already undergone a stem cell transplant and chemotherapy and now will be getting "smart" chemotherapy targeting the cancer cells only and a second stem cell transplant from a different family member.

This is one battle that isn't a game. It is very real.

HOPE, BELIEF, LOVE, COMMITMENT, PATIENCE, COURAGE, OPTIMISM, HEALING

Check out the survivors you may recognize listed on wikipedia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_breast_cancer_patients_by_survival_status

I am still blown away by having had the honor of standing with these survivors - each representing one of these qualities. I would far rather stand with them than Richard Hatch and that is for sure.... But Ethan, that's a different story.

16 years ago - I felt a lump

2011-12-07T07:15:00.000-08:00

May 1995 - 7 months before

It was in December. I was in the shower and had felt a lump. I asked my husband to come and feel what I felt. "There's definitely something there," he said.

At the time I didn't have an OBGYN, he had had a stroke and retired. But after all, it was Christmas time and I didn't think I should rush through anything at Christmas. What if it was bad news. It would ruin the holiday.

I asked a few people who they were seeing and got a few names. So, I called one and asked that they schedule a mammogram for me (after the holiday). The Doctor's office said it was unusual to do that before I had met the Doctor, but they agreed to go ahead and schedule it. The mammogram was scheduled for the first week in January.

The time I spent waiting was occupied with Santa and family, gifts and baking, carols and chaos. Inside, inside I knew something was definitely not right.

I was your stay at home Mom at the time. Allison was 12 and Katie was 10. (I have to say all this survivor math gets tricky... is it from when you were diagnosed? Is it from the surgery? Does it matter?) To me what is significant was I had two daughters one a pre-teen and one a young teen who came with me to the clinic to get my mammogram.

The woman at the desk asked about my last Mammogram, which I had gotten in SF about 5 years before. There is a history of Cancer in my family, but not Breast Cancer. She said "Be sure to give me that information before you leave today."

I went into the exam room to have the mammogram leaving my two daughters sitting in the waiting room. The young technician asked me a few questions. I mentioned I had felt a lump and showed her where. She looked surprised and said "It's a good thing you showed me because that is so low, I may have not gotten it normally."

When she stepped out from reviewing the film her face had changed. She said "I think we have all we need. You can go."

At that moment, I knew. I knew I had Cancer.

I stopped at the desk and began to give the receptionist the information about the other Mammogram. She obviously had heard from the tech, while I was getting dressed what the film had revealed. "Oh we don't need that now," she said with the same pale face and unnerved darting eyes.

I felt frightened, and then I looked at my daughters. I put on my best "ready for battle" face and said, "Let's go girls."

I was 42. And I wouldn't have become 58 had it not been for self exams and Mammograms. Have you done a self exam lately? It could very well save your life, it saved mine.

It worries me when studies say things like Mammograms shouldn't be done until after 50. I worries me when too much emphasis is on Mammograms and not enough is on self exams. The truth is, we need to be diligent about our own health. And if you have Cancer in your family you must be triple diligent. It's not fun, but it is a fact.

What is fun is life. What is fun is watching your daughters grow up, get married, have grownup jobs and be loved. It's fun to hold the hand of your soul mate for another 16 years. Its fun to breath in the air of the ocean as you walk along its edge. It is so much fun to live.

PLEASE give yourself that gift. Do self exams. Have your Mammogram.

A new teammate who comes with her own crew!

2011-12-04T07:11:00.001-08:00

The walk of 2012 has officially begun with a Tennessee Valley "training" walk with the Purchase Family and Glenn.

Those of you who have been reading this journey have followed the challenges this incredible family has faced in the past few years. Leslie's Breast Cancer at the age of 32, one of the most daunting of of the Breast Cancers, triple negative was hard enough to weather I am sure. She got that diagnosis 6 months after the birth of their daughter Olivia. Olivia joined her brothers Joe and Jack to be children born in a world that unavoidably had been tainted by the trauma of Cancer.

Then this year as they began to look forward to a new life CANCER FREE in Marin, Olivia had a seizure, and was diagnosed with a rare brain cancer. She underwent surgery, chemo and stem cell transplant. Now on our walk we all were celebrating closing the book on the treatment and the beginning of living.

Throughout the trials Leslie and Rob have been blessed with the unending support of their parents. Rob's mother, also Olivia is often in town to lend a hand. Leslie's folks Arlene and Joe were here today for the walk, as they have been throughout these tough days. They come from Pennsylvania, and it says so much for the love in this family to see them drop everything to be close.

To listen to the conversation of this family as you walk is heart warming. There is so much support. Parents to children, grandparents to children. There is also a lot of kidding and learning and loving going on. It moved Glenn to remark to me it was like walking with a family from a Norman Rockwell painting. They are perfect... in that they are perfectly human.

Leslie has started her own blog http://www.lesliepurchase.com/

Here she will be blogging about one resolution she will be following for each 52 weeks of the year. She hopes to be come "a better wife, mother, daughter, survivor, citizen through 52 one week long resolutions."

So I am expecting this will be an interesting year of learning humility for me! She and they will be the source of much inspiration for me on this walk.

And on this walk I will be reminded of HOW IMPORTANT this walk is. Why do I walk? I won't have to look very far to be reminded. What a blessing that will be on those days when I don't feel like walking to have such a great reason to.

And as we walk... we will be getting closer to out goal. The goal of a world where Cancer doesn't define us as survivors. A world where the fear of Cancer will not stifle our ability to breath.

A world where the horizon is attainable, and dreams are unfettered.

And those people we love will watch our joy...

As we plan our next adventure....

bolding living life fully and completely...

as we walk this journey together.

TO JOIN US....A DONATION as a year end tax deduction would be great. www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

This is going to be amazing.....

The last round

2011-11-30T09:12:00.000-08:00

Finishing Chemo...

Yesterday Olivia started her last day of Chemo. As anyone who has gone through Chemo knows, that is quite a milestone. I realized that many people may have never known Chemo from the inside out. They may have watched others go through Chemo, but personally they have never had to endure it. Thinking about Olivia, and her family, I thought about when I went through Chemo.

I’ve tried to come up with the perfect analogy about having to have Chemo. Being told you should have Chemo after you have been told you have Cancer is something akin to being told you have rotten teeth and then seeing the pliers poised over your mouth to yank out all your teeth. It’s like doing your taxes and then being audited by the IRS and then thrown on the stand in court to explain your entertainment budget. Maybe this… It’s like believing in Santa, and then finding out he is not real when he arrives at your door with a gun and robs you blind.

The truth is there is nothing like having Chemo. You KNOW you have to do it. You dread it. You fear it. You try and find ways to deal with it. Since Chemo is broken into different sessions over some time, you go through these feelings multiple times. If you are an optimist like me, after the first session you say I have finished 1, not I have ___ more to go. But that last session, in the time leading up to it you are saying “I only have one more to go.”

When I went through Chemo, I feared losing my hair and I feared being continually sick. But I feared dying more. I would listen to hymns on my walk-man. Glenn sat by my side. The nurses were always nice putting a warm blanket on me as the cold drugs would make their way through my veins. I would leave feeling fairly ok… and then I would spend a few days feeling not so good.

When I had my last session I knew that was it. I wasn’t going to be having radiation. The follow-ups I would have wouldn’t be invasive or painful (short of mammograms or blood work). It was like I had graduated from one school of Cancer with a degree in Chemo. They even gave me an angel pin to congratulate me. The rest of my education on Cancer would be in other schools and those schools are actually the ones that shape your life. You see it is how you move on from Chemo and Cancer that defines you. You are not Cancer. You are a human being and you are meant to live.

Chemo gives a Cancer patient a chance at life. The things you learn after Chemo are the things that give you permission to embrace life fully. During Chemo you don‘t have to think much. Chemo kind of does its own thing. While getting Chemo I believed at least the Cancer isn’t growing. I don’t think I truly accepted it was completely gone. With each check-up after Chemo where there was no Cancer to be found, I still held a piece of me in reserve that said it could come back. As my hair grew back and I thought about how hard it was to lose I would hope that it would never need to fall out again. But I knew that was always a possibility. I let myself eat and drink and be merry, still not 100% sure how long my life would be. And I think for a good deal of the 13 years that followed my Chemo, I moved somewhat comatose through life. Enjoying it and finding joy, but living with a silent fear.

It took me a LONG time to move on to the next college and get my next degree. I even got a diploma, a flag called BELIEF. Standing in the Survivor Circle at the Susan G Komen 3 day, looking out over the faces, many streamed with tears, I realized I had moved on to fully and completely believing I had beaten Cancer. The Chemo and surgery had done their jobs. I was not a Cancer patient. I was Cathy Youngling, age 58, living and breathing and making a difference. Cancer hadn’t killed me. It almost did. What it had done, I finally realized, was make me stronger, wiser and a fierce warrior who now could fight for others.

And as I think about Olivia and the rest of her journey, and the journey of her family, I know there is a lot ahead. There will be joy, there will be life large and small, and I know there will be silent fears. But I also know and believe they will be standing one day with flags of their own.

BELIEF, COURAGE, OPTIMISM, COMMITMENT, LOVE, HEALING, PATIENCE and HOPE.

Because when it comes to survivors, it takes one to know one. Here’s to the next phase.

Goodbye Chemo, hello life.

P.S. The last day to sign up as a 3 day walker for 2012 with the current discount is December 1. Use the Code CURE2012 (It saves you $30)

In case you didn't know I am walking 2.... San Francisco Sept 7-9 and San Diego November 16-18

Go to http://www.the3day.org/ and look me up. Join the team. Make a difference... or if you can't walk... DONATE, 2011 is almost over and you may like a tax deduction!

Ok... I need to vent.

2011-11-27T19:23:00.000-08:00

The other night on 20/20 there was a segment about whether or not attitude can influence survival or not. There was this high faluting doctor explaining how his "study" showed it had no influence. There was no discernible difference between someone who had thrown their hands up in the air and gave up, and someone who had hope and faith and determination to beat their illness.

They even used the example of Gabby Gifford. Her recovery they said was due 100% to the trajectory of the bullet. So none of us Cancer survivors have any power over our destiny. We have no influence over the speed of our recovery, or our recovery at all... We are after all victims of our circumstances and we should just "let the doctors do their best and accept our fate."

Bullshit.

Sorry if I see it, smell it, hear it I have to call it. BULLSHIT.

I posted something on Facebook and got a lot of feedback. "

I believe your attitude does matter when it comes to survival. I find it sanctimonious and annoying when people insist it makes no difference. I pity people with so little belief in things outside themselves. Attitude won't change everything, but it makes the best of what you are given and then some. But to blame a person’s death or illness on not believing enough that is the height of arrogance."

It must be my rage over this struck a cord so I thought I should blog about this as a follow up.

I feel sorry for those people who cannot accept there are things outside our knowledge, things like miracles, that have no explanation but exist none the less. Miracles do happen. Someone who was told they have days to live, sometimes find they live for years. For me, I owe my survival to many things. If my Cancer did anything it reminded me that it is up to us to fight for our own lives.

I listened to the Doctors. I followed the most aggressive course. I prayed. I allowed the people around me to pray and hold me up. I survived because I did everything I could to survive. Others don't survive, why? I only know about me and I know it made a difference.

There have been several times when other's arrogance and ignorance, personal fear and powerlessness have led to the most hateful evil kind of help. "God must be punishing you. You had better get right with God." Oh yes they did say that. The Doctor saying "attitude will not help your survival" and the idiot who says "Cancer is God's punishment" are both cut out of the same sorry cloth. Elitist, arrogant, sanctimonious and dangerous.

When my Mother was dying from Cancer, there were a couple of those moments. One was sitting at a card table with my parent's investment counselor who said to my Mother, "When you die you won't be seeing your father. He didn't go to church so he will be in hell and you Bettie will be going to Heaven." I watched as I saw the light die in her eyes, her hope and love disappeared at the sound of this man's words. I grabbed his arm and looked him in the eye and said "Really? Well if my grandfather is in Hell and you are in Heaven please God send me to Hell because he had more love and compassion in him in his little finger than you have in your entire body. I feel sorry for you." I still am angry that at the end of my mother's life somoneone would choose to hurt her like that. So when I hear some holier than thou Doctor pontificate over his study, which in his mind is the same as "holy words" I get angry. Angry because his small mindedness might just cost someone hope and no one should feel they have the right to do that.

Did the Doctor mean it doesn't matter if you lengthen or improve your life, because you will die anyway? If that is the case ok, he's right. We all die. But how we live is ALL up to us. What we believe is ALL up to us. The quality of the time we have on this earth is up to us. The joy we find in each day is up to us. And I believe that can be a difference between us.

If Cancer ever knocks at my door again. I will look it in the eye like I did before. I will acknowledge it for a formidable foe and I will fight. I will fight until I can't fight anymore. That is MY choice. And now, now that I am Cancer free, I will continue the fight so there will never be a day when the arrogance and ignorance of people join forces with Cancer to kill the light in the eyes of people I love. That is my choice. It doesn't have to be yours, but you should never let someone else tell you there is no choice. There is. What would your choice be?

And on that note... I am going to walk to work.

P.S. I am half way to my minimum fundraising goal because there are people out there that believe we CAN end Breast Cancer. If you want to get me to the minimum goal by the end of the year DONATE.

And if you want to walk in 2012, find a walk and join it. Use the code CURE2012 to get a discount on the registration. If you want to walk with me, send me a message and let's talk.

Gratitude

2011-11-18T12:21:00.000-08:00

All of us at times, bemoan the things we don't have. Here's part of my list....

I don't have my children living close by.
My Mother.
My sisters and brother and their families live in other states.
I won't have a mortgage paid off anytime soon.
I don't wear a size 8.
I don't travel as much as I would like.
I don't have an I-Pad 2 or a wireless printer.
I don't have multi million dollar escrows.
My face is starting to look its age.
I need a new range.

You get the picture.... the list could be quite long. Sometimes late at night when I can't sleep I think of everything in the world that is a worry or a want. I don't spend time thinking about what I have. That list... the important one, is too often neglected.

From that place of I need, I want, I don't have... very little forward movement is possible. It is a negative place. A place that paralyzes you and keeps you from moving forward.

Here is my list of what I am grateful to acknowledge I have... and trust me this list has no end, these are just the ones on the top of my mind today.

My husband. He is at the top of my list. He allows me the freedom to be who I am, and loves me more for it. He is my biggest cheerleader, and has the strongest shoulders I know. He listens to me when I am worried. He gives me incredible advice which almost always is right. I am blessed to have found my soul mate. My partner . With whom I share an incredible life. My first and my last husband, who I will love forever.

Our children. We both are blessed with daughters who are intelligent and beautiful. Each are very different from each other. They grew up in each other's shadow to be their own people.

Katie is artistic and creative. She has a heart that is tender and I feel blessed to feel I am in her heart. Blessed to watch her grow. Grateful she has a job and someone she cares for. Happy every time I hear from her. I know she will always be there for me as I would be for her.

Allison is intelligent and an unbelievable writer. I feel blessed to have seen her marry and be loved. And blessed to watch her as she pursues her career in something she has dreamt about. I am so proud to see her succeed. She is strong and I am blessed to know she loves me and will always be there for me.

My friends, near and far. To name them would be to compare them and they are without compare each and every one. I am so grateful to be a part of their lives.

Fellow survivors... I feel completely and utterly blessed to be a part of a group of people who have had the same life altering experience of being told you might die, only to come through and be stronger and wiser.

I am grateful for my home. It is a place where Glenn and I can be ourselves. It is our home. It serves us as shelter, as a place to welcome family and friends. It is where we look out windows to the most amazing changing landscape. It is where I grow amazing apples from a tree that Glenn planted.

Tamalpais Valley, our larger home. I am grateful for the trails, the beach. The fog as it dances its way down the valley in the summer. The trees that sway in the breeze. My work. I am grateful that through my work I have met some of the most incredible people in the world. Many have become friends, some have become like family. I feel blessed when I know I helped them find a home where their dreams can be realized. I am grateful for a beautiful and intelligent partner who keeps this business interesting and fun.

I am blessed to have had dogs as a part of my life. Blessed to have a goofy boy named Tucker and a prima donna named Sophie. Both of whom look up to me and Glenn for love ( okay maybe cookies too).

I am grateful my dress looked good for the Susan G Komen Gala, and that my daughter could be my date. I am grateful that Glenn helped me, to give myself permission to go. I am grateful that that trip, the walks and all of my participation in Susan G Komen has helped me to dream big dreams, for myself and everyone. To dream of a world without Cancer is a big dream ... but somehow, I feel I am blessed to be a part of making that dream come true.

I am blessed to have discovered I am not older, I am stronger. I am not an athlete but I can walk 60 miles. I am blessed to have discovered how good it feels to make a difference, and how incredible it feels to physically, mentally, emotionally and in every way embrace my own survival.

I am grateful I started this blog, that allows and encourages me to think one layer deeper. I am blessed to know this matters to other people.

It's almost Thanksgiving. It is a time for thanks. And I could go on and on and on about what I am thankful for... Every day should be a day to be thankful. I have a feeling we all would sleep better, be happier and ultimately create a heck of a lot more to be thankful for, if we just took the time to acknowledge what we already have.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

PS NEW THANKS! Judi has officially joined

Team:Are We There yet? SF! We are going to have the best time!

DONATE and give me one more reason to be thankful!

www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

Obstacles

2011-11-13T14:31:00.000-08:00

Its been a busy week with a few Real Estate deals brewing. There's a lot of brewing in Real Estate, a lot of maybes, a lot of waiting. I read in a Real Estate blog a question and answer about how available are you for your business. Almost everyone answered 24/7. You can't survive in this business unless you are available FULL time.

Even though I am pretty darn available and have a lifeline attached to my I-Phone, I refuse to make Real Estate my life. My life is so much more. But it is tempting to forget that when you set out to do something for you... and a deal, a seller's insecurity, a buyer's immediate need is calling for your attention. These obstacles are there to challenge your resolve to balance your life. If you approach the obstacles with an open mind, and seek other avenues to take care of business at the same time you take care of yourself, you can often find a better and more healthy avenue to follow.

But it isn't easy. It isn't my personal life that wakes me up at 1 am, its my business. But I find sleep comes much better, if I have not neglected my walking, my friends and my family and life.

Today, after a fitful night of sleep, during which I worried about my sellers and buyers, I decided, to walk into work for the first time in a couple of weeks. I am betting, tonight I will sleep. And thank goodness for the I-phone. If an offer comes in, I am a hour from a computer and seconds away from responding. Remind me of this next time I am tossing and turning. It is a valuable lesson for all of us.

Today's walk - The Obstacle here was the high tide. I could have turned back...

But I didn't. I went cross country looking for a way to pass it by.

And eventually found myself back on the path.

Looking back at what held me back a few minutes before.

HELP ME ON MY PATH to my fourth 3 day walk?!

Make a donation

www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired

2011-11-10T08:47:00.001-08:00

Last night we had our dear friends Patty and Claire come to dinner and I had the table beautifully set. The tiny votive candles were sparkling and the wine was chilled. Glenn came home and we talked about our day while we waited for our guests. I had my I-phone in my hand when I saw a post had come in from Leslie.

Leslie is Olivia's Mom and a Breast Cancer Survivor. Olivia as you know is battling Cancer, currently using the weapon of a stem cell transplant from the Cancer weapon's arsenal. Olivia turned 3 during this past month.

Leslie writes about their journey on Caring Bridge to keep friends and family updated. I wanted to read the post to Glenn. Leslie started by giving a disclaimer that the post may seem down. Even though I know my inability to read really emotional things out loud, I went ahead. She spoke of their long and tiring day, after months of long and tiring days. This one felt worse because the exhaustion in Olivia had momentarily stolen the spark from her eyes. She said it was as though Olivia was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It was there that my tears in my eyes swelled up.

I know that feeling. I remember it well. It didn't usually happen right after my chemo it was sneaky and laid in wait for a couple of days and then it was as if a Mack Truck ran over me, plastering me to the pavement. I would feel as if raising my head was a Herculean task. At some point I remember just giving into the exhaustion and laying on the couch for a couple of days. And I was 42 years old.

Olivia is 3.

There is something about knowing the feeling and then looking at a sweet innocent 3 year old that is so very hard to accept. Why. Why is it happening to this little girl.

None of us are immune to life. Life is this wonderful thing that gives each of us so much joy, but with that comes the other part... the part about being human. Life is at one time the most generous of benevolent philanthropists, giving unselfishly of the best it has to offer. Then turn around and life seems like a thief, whose main purpose is to steal our joy and burden us with pain and worry. It is a part of being human.

It is also a part of being human to ask what did I do to deserve this? What had I done to deserve getting Cancer. People are always looking for someone or something to blame. There are those sanctimonious idiots who say you haven't lived right, or God is punishing you. (Yes they actually do say things like that to Cancer patients, I have heard them personally). There are people who want to blame the water, the sun, their grandparents or anything anything except life. But it is life that gives us these challenges and life that also gives us such hope and joy.

I am not saying there aren't other causes to Cancer. Of course there are and that is part of the reason I walk, I walk to find not only a cure, but in the process identify causes so the cure can be found. But just like life, this isn't a simple task. Right now there are around 18 different types of Breast Cancer that have been identified. They are saying now that genetics, although it does play a role in some, is far less relevant than previously thought. They are even testing a vaccine for Breast Cancer that has shown a lot of promise for ONE TYPE of Breast Cancer. There are 18+.

So for those people who want to blame something, don't waste the time. Use your time in a more constructive way. Life has given you gifts that you can use to fight Cancer now. The biggest of these is LOVE.

It has long been my belief Cancer gave me gifts more than it took from me. But it took me a while to understand that. For many years I sought to hide from Cancer and in the process I hid from the incredible bounty it had given me. When I was "brave" enough to look back at my Cancer I saw it brought me love, and a sense of community. It taught me that I had power beyond anything I ever imagined. It renewed my spirit and brought me closer to truth. Cancer in trying to steal my life, made me love it that much more. It made me committed to helping others see the same things in themselves. As much as I want Cancer to fall to its knees in surrender...I thank it for the lessons I have learned.

But I still can't help crying for the hurt and trials Olivia and her family have had to endure. But, just so you know, I also have to cry a bit for the joy I have knowing how each and everyone of these people will turn that trial into triumph. That will be something to see.

Feel the rain on your skin

2011-10-31T07:57:00.000-07:00

I am back from my weekend in DC. I was honored by being invited to attend the 2nd annual Honoring the Promise for Susan G. Komen. It was held last Friday at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.

I debated long and hard about whether I could go. After all I had just been in DC for the 3 day walk. It would mean buying a gown, buying tickets, re-organizing my calendar and business. Finally I thought about these past few years. I thought about the adventures I have had when I started to believe I COULD do the impossible. After Glenn stepped up and gave me some miles (so I could fly free....) I was committed and immediately knew it was the right thing.

Of course last minute Allison and Chris did the best they could to squeeze me into their busy lives. Allison was in a leadership conference and would be around until an hour or so before the event. I knew I wanted her to be my date. She scrambled and got home just in time and threw on her dress grabbed her pink shawl and loaded her be-jeweled Mom into the car and got us to DC just in plenty of time to sip a blini before going into the event.

We stood on the red carpet - looked at the beautiful lights - and the beautiful people while we waited for the doors to open.

We finally took our seats as the main players were taking their publicity photos. Below is Sarah Brown (wife of former PM Gordon Brown of the UK and recipient of the Global Award) Jennifer Beals and Nancy Brinker.

When the performance began you knew you would be in for a treat. Denyce Graves-Montgomery performed "Habanera" while an aerial artist Amanda Topaz twisted and turned and spun on a long silken ribbon.

The Master/Mistress of Ceremonies was Hoda Kotb, co-host of the Today show and by far the best, most real, delightful person I have ever seen in that capacity. Oh, and by the way she is a Breast Cancer Survivor.

The awards went to Dandra Swain MD, for her work in the DC community bringing quality care to the under privileged. The Scientific and Medical Award to Charles Perou, PHD whose research into genomic studies allowed these genoms to be analyzed in breast tumors and determine the likelihood of recurrence and there by help tailor make treatment and for example avoid chemo when not warranted. Sarah Brown won the award for Global leadership for her work in not only the UK but in other countries in particular Israel. And finally a lifetime achievement award given to Susan Ford Bales the daughter of Betty Ford, in her honor. I don't need to tell you what Betty Ford did. Before she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, people didn't say those words out loud. She single handley shattered the stigma of breast cancer.

Each of these awards had significance. All were moving. But for me the award to Dr. Perou and the award to Betty Ford were especially moving.

When I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer I didn't have choices. To this day I am not sure if I needed to do the kind of destructive treatment that I followed at the time. I only knew, I had no other choice. As a result of my chemo I have scaring in my heart and damaged cells in a part of my brain. One of the survivors in the circle with me at DC benefitted from Dr. Perou's research. They determined she didn't have to have chemotherapy because of the type of Breast Cancer she had, recurrence would be a unlikely possibility.

But when Susan Ford Bales accepted the award on the behalf of her mother, I was moved to tears and was grateful I made a friend of the woman sitting next to me who gave me a Kleenex. Ms. Bales spoke with love and loss for her mother who at 93 passed away this past July. It reminded me how hard it is to lose someone we love, no matter what the age. But Betty Ford had changed many stigmas and we are all better for it. Breast Cancer is now openly discussed, as is addiction. She fearlessly worked on her past demons until she had power over them and thereby empowered all of us to do the same.

The performances were incredible; Miri Ben-Ari who is a Grammy winning violinist who has created her own unique blend of jazz, R&B and hip=hop from her classical training (with Issac Stern no less!) Afro Blue from Howard University who have been featured on the NBC show "Sing Off". But for me the one performance that spoke to me was Natasha Bedingfield. She sang Pocketful of Sunshine which sold over 3 million copies and melted into Unwritten which for me spoke about why I came on this trip in the first place. Read the lyrics (sing along if you know the words) and imagine me sitting in the balcony in the Kennedy Center smiling knowing, for me, I am writing my own story... and I love rain on my skin.

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something
in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open *****
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open *****
Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Often in life we are stuck with what we know. We don't explore what is outside our window. We don't open our arms wide to grab life. We don't speak the words on our lips. We don't feel the rain on our skin.... That to some degree had been me. Each and every day I feel I see the road in front of me clearer, and I am less afraid of what is around the corner. I look forward to writing the rest of my story.
The event ended with a celebration and then a photoshoot.
They took photos while the rest of us headed to the elevator to go to the party upstairs on the Terrace level. Allison and I rode up the elevator with Wolf Blitzer. When the doors opened for the elevator we were flooded with a pink glow. I said "Wow it's pink!" One person said what did you expect laughing... I answered... "well I supposed I would disappointed if it was blue."

Food was laid out in at least four different rooms for the 1000 guests. Many of the guests were sponsors of the event. Those sponsors and donors brought in 2 million dollars on this one night. That isn't too bad! I have had people ask me why Susan G Komen? They are so large...they think it is better to support things that are more local. One thing that someone said on this night struck very true, They (Susan G Komen) are big enough to matter. They are big enough to wield power and make a difference. They fund research others won't touch. And from those have come some of the biggest advancements. Big is not always bad. In the world of Cancer big is GREAT if its an organization like Susan G Komen. They have invested over 2 BILLION in groundbreaking research and life saving communitiy health and advocacy initiatives. Cancer needs every big gun we can pull together to find a cure. AND we will find a cure.
Allison and I found a table to eat with two open chairs. I asked a beautiful young woman if we could sit down and she said sure. She was sitting next to another beautiful woman, more like my age. As we spoke I found out the woman was the Ambassador from Cape Verde. I told them how much I loved the music from there and they invited me to an event the Embassies are putting on, where there would be music from Cape Verde. I thought, shoot another DC party and I can't come! But I exchanged cards with her and told them they were welcome to come to SF and take a ride on our boat on the Bay.

As Allison and I wandered about I heard a voice "Cathy!" It was Kirk Hammond who was one of the survivors in the circle with me. Kirk walked in the DC 3 day walk in 2011 but in 2010 there was a team walking for her, she was going through treatment. She is a bright light, a Mom with a husband who looks like an anchorman you may know, but is an attorney. It was exciting to see her. She told me Leslie Kerns was also there another survivor from the circle and we hunted her down. It was a little harder finding her than it would have been in the 3 day where her hair was striking bright pink, but we found her anyway.
Allison and I left to drive back to Falls Church feeling so treated and so glad to have been able to go to this event.

Chris and the dog met us and we had one more glass of wine before bed.

The next day Allison had off, so despite the forecast for snow we headed out for an adventure. First stop lunch at a place feature on Diner Drive-ins and Dives. La Caraqueia in Falls Church, is a Bolivian restaurant and it was good!

After lunch we headed toward West Virginia and Loudon County, Va. The snow started shortly after leaving and got steadily heavier the further we went.

This is October?!

Looks like a wintry scene to me! We tried a couple of wineries, one was closed for an event, the other was just closed.

But we found a couple that were open and these people were very friendly and the tasting room was full of people who believe in adventure like Allison and me.

Corked Cellars was like going to the living room of an old friend. The owner used to be from Sausalito and his wine was good and reasonably priced. he also had local cheese, eggs and beef! We grabbed some of each and headed home.

Back in Falls Church we made dinner for Chris who was working late and relaxed. The next day, Allison was off for a class and Chris was off to work. I was off to the airport and home.

Now I am back to work, waiting for trick or treaters and wondering what I will discover around the next bend. I can't help but feel there is something I am meant to do. There is a passion I am meant to explore. There is good for me to accomplish and I am curious just what that will be. If you have any idea what I am meant to be doing, let me know. Otherwise, don't mind me, I am loving that rain on my skin.

It makes me complete

2011-10-24T08:57:00.000-07:00

"Though the pain is miles and miles behind her, and the fear is just a docile beast, when you ask her why she is still running, she'll tell you it makes her complete."

This line comes from Melissa Etheridge's song "I Run for Life." It is one of the best explanations for doing the walk that I could imagine. And as I begin the fourth year of training for my fourth walk, on what will be my seventeenth year of survival, I thought I would start off by telling you what I get out of the walk.

Back when I received my diagnosis, the universe was put on it's end. It was as if someone altered who I was in one moment, ultimately leaving me feeling less of a woman, less attractive, weaker, mutated irreparable. I quietly walked through life in a semi unconscious manner, blocking out the memory that had cause so much uneasiness.

When I chose to walk in the Breast Cancer 3 day, my words were "It gave me my power back." But Etheridge says the same thing in a different way... "It makes her complete."

It is as if someone rebuilt you into a stronger person than you were before. The walk allows your soul to fill the void that Cancer left, with something that is powerful and meaningful. You realize as you walk that not only can you change your own life, you can change others. You can change the world. The wonderful thing is you may never have felt this way before Cancer. You never knew you were THAT person.

In these past 4 weeks that I have been laying low, and not walking, I feel a void in my life. I feel older, I feel weaker. I know what happens next, I start to feel less optimistic about lots of things and that is exactly the opposite to what I want to feel. I do not feel whole. I do not feel complete.

This week I have business to take care of and then on Thursday I will be leaving for Washington DC. I was honored to be invited to attend "Honor the Promise" at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. This black tie event will celebrate 30 years of Susan G Komen with music and entertainment, and present awards to some real life heroes who have had an impact on Breast Cancer. During this week I have agonized over what to wear, how to wear it, bought 4 dresses and returned 3. Its a role I am not used to, this black tie affair. But next week, my daughter Allison and I will be wearing our finest and walking down a red carpet. I hope I am able to connect with people who have learned how to make a difference and maybe in the course of that learn how to do even more to end Breast Cancer.

So look for more it the week to come about the event, people I will meet and perhaps even the dress. Then after that, it will be back to work and if I have anything to say about it, back to walking. Because after all, I do like to be all that I can be... (sounds like an ad doesn't it...)

P.S. secret personal goals for the 2012 walk season...

1. Earn $17,000 ($1,000 for each year of survival)
2. Perhaps walk in 2 walks
3. Walk with Patti, Patty, Katie, Allison, Leslie, Judi, Claire and ???

DONATE to a complete Cathy
and and end to Cancer!

www.The3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

A blog that is humbling and inspiring

2011-10-17T21:34:00.000-07:00

I do believe Bridget is the gal who called me last year to thank me for my fundraising efforts and encourage me in the DC walk. She has been fighting a brave battle. This blog is raw and real. I wish I had a magic answer for the situation she finds herself in. But I want her to know that she has been in my thoughts since that phone call and I pray for her answer to be around the corner and close enough for her to grab.

Read and follow this blog

Bridget.... You rock.

The Susan G Komen Mission

2011-10-16T09:29:00.001-07:00

The mission is to end Breast Cancer and one of the most important ways to do this is to get screened early. If a woman is screened and Cancer is detected early the survival rate is 98%. If the Cancer is found later, the rate is 23%

So the campaign Susan G Komen has started is one to encourage early screening. It's called, what would I have missed. They asked survivors to record a message about what they would have missed.

Here is mine

Share the message, save a life!

The journey

2011-10-07T18:27:00.000-07:00

Walking 60 miles in 3 days is a big deal. This distance alone would be remarkable to most, the fact that we walk for reasons beyond ourselves is what makes this transcending.
This is my third 3 day experience. Each walk has been incredibly moving. This year had more than its share of tears ( and not from blisters or pulled muscles). This walk carried more significance because this year has had more challenges. And it was more meaningful because of people I met along the way.

Part of what this walk is, is, a victory dance over adversity. And there has been too much adversity around in 2011. Our dance therefore was epic.

Our team of six, Allison (our daughter) , Patti Bott, Barbara Bryant, Alicia Bryant and Judi Quinn Palmer each will have their own stories to tell. This is mine. This is what I will remember most from the Susan G Komen 3 day Walk for the Cure, Washington DC, 2011.

I don't know if you have ever before sat in the rain with a lunch bag, It really doesn't work very well. The bag just dissolves before your eyes. But somehow while the bags dissolved, the walkers only got stronger. It was as if with each drop of rain, the will to do the whole walk strengthened. Like a gauntlet had been laid down.

I know there were a few people who started this walk thinking "I'll just take the sweep van" "I'm not walking all 60 miles". We sat there staring blindly out in front of ourselves as the rain dumped on everything until smiles popped out on each face. Maybe we realized the rain wouldn't stop us. And each and every team member stood and walked the entire first day, sloshing and squishing along with determination and high spirits.

For me, perhaps the most significant memory of the walk will be carrying Olivia and Leslie.

I met Leslie when she and her husband Rob began looking for a house to move to in Mill Valley. It was one of those wonderful moments in life when one part of your life, intersects with another making perfect and complete sense. Leslie had read somewhere that I was a 16 year Breast Cancer Survivor. Since Leslie had recently gone through her treatment for Breast Cancer, she liked the idea of working with a fellow survivor. (Ok maybe the fact I am a top Mill Valley Real Estate agent helped a little).

When you work with one of the people in this family you are blessed to work with the whole crew. Leslie and Rob have three children Joe, Jack and Olivia. They also have parents who come to visit and help out from Pennsylvania. Now I have met a lot of children. My own were wonderful and quirky and amazing. But I don't think I have ever know three children so kind to each other and a family so beautifully connected.

In the middle of an escrow, on the day we were to remove contingencies for a home they were thinking of buying, Olivia had a seizure. Olivia, is only 2. She shouldn't be having a seizure. What has followed has been frightening and inspiring. How this family has navigated this I have no idea. What I do know is they have made real for me once again the urgency to find a cure for Cancer. No one should have to make the kind of decisions they have had to make about their little girl.

And what a little girl she is. She is spunky and bright and full of life. She has a smile and laugh that melts your heart. When I made the quilt for the fundraiser, it was quite obvious to me that this quilt was really meant for Olivia and her family. They have put the quilt in the "happy corner" where they huddle under it.

I made buttons to honor survivors and people lost to wear on the last mile of the 3 day. Dozens of them, but two buttons I wore all 60 miles - Leslie and Olivia. They were in my thoughts every step so I thought it only appropriate they be on the front of my shirt.

Susan G Komen's mission is to end Breast Cancer. In the process they have brought advances to all kinds of Cancer. I met a woman this year whose research (funded by Susan G Komen) is researching not only Breast Cancer but Pancreatic, Uterine and Ovarian Cancer. I am praying that one of the advancements will be the answer for all Cancers.

Olivia has just had a stem cell transplant. She will overcome this Cancer and she will be someone who changes the world. She and her family have already changed mine.

One major learning for me, was the chance meeting of Cate Edwards and Trevor Upham in Healdsburg a year ago.

It was in September and Patti and I had walked 18 miles in the hills around Healdsburg on a hot day. As we often do we try to plan a little reward at the end of the longest walks. Our reward this time was to stop into Toad Hollow. Toad Hollow had become one of our favorite wineries, not only because of their great wines, but because we met Jim Costa there.

Jim's wife Judy had passed away from Breast Cancer and he had even walked one day of the walk back in 2008 to honor her. We were chatting about the walk with Jim when I noticed the couple at end of the bar. I struck up a conversation with them.

They said they were recently engaged and lived in DC. He said he had just accepted a position at the National Institute of Heath. I told him a recent client had just done the same thing and suggested he probably would never know the guy since the Institute is so HUGE. But when I told him the name he laughed and said he had interviewed with him and would be working with him. The coincidences didn't stop there. The girl mentioned her Mother had Breast Cancer. I asked how she was doing and she said "She's done really well up until recently. It came back in her bones."

I told her to keep the faith. Her fiancee could tell her better than anyone of the advances that happen every day.And I suggested she and her Mother walk with us in DC in 2011. She said that would be something she would think about.

I went off just wishing the best for the young couple and her Mother. But Cate went back and the following weekend took her Mother to Mirror Lake in NY to celebrate her birthday. She told her Mother about meeting two women in Healdsburg who were walking in the Susan G Komen 3 day in DC in 2011. She told her that she wanted to walk in her honor.

Elizabeth Edwards, was her Mother.
She said "Well maybe I will walk with you."

Elizabeth Edwards (wife of presidential candidate John Edwards) had had her share of tragedy. But she never gave up.

The fact that we inspired her daughter to walk in the Washington DC 3 day will be one of the proudest moments of my life. I first found out they were walking because Trevor asked my permission to tell the story of how they decided to walk. It was wonderful to see Team Elizabeth at the 3 day, with their buttons of Elizabeth on their backpacks.

Elizabeth was walking with them.

During the walk I knew we would be walking past the White House. There had been a lot of discussion about tying pink ribbons on the fence as we passed. Many people were concerned we wouldn't be allowed to do this. Some were even concerned we would be arrested.

But many of us brought pink ribbons to use anyway.

The moment came very near the end of the walk. We zigzagged our way through nearby streets until we finally were at the White House. I pulled out the ribbon and some of the team had already picked a spot to tie their ribbons. But I couldn't really see the White House from where they were. I kept walking until the House was framed in my vision.

I looked at the White House and tied the ribbon on the fence.
My whole life I have felt one of things that means most to me is being heard. Doing something of consequence that makes a difference. As I tied that ribbon on the fence, I felt like I was heard. This is the best way I can explain the tears that ran down my face.

What we had done MATTERED.

There are moments in this walk when you feel tired and sore. And on this walk we felt wet and hot and sweaty. You eye the sweep vans and imagine in the van you could lessen some of the discomfort you feel. Then there are moments in this walk that take your breath away.

I first saw Bob King and Ashley on day one as I watched the walkers leave on the route. Seeing a man with an artificial leg participating in an event like the 3 day certainly would cause anyone to stop and take notice. But as the day wore on I saw him several more times. On day 2, he was in obvious pain. He had tears in his eyes when we saw him at a pit stop. His fiancee Ashley consoling him. I fully expected him to take a swept van to the camp. I almost went over to him to suggest he do that. But he didn't take the van.

Later at the last pitstop I went over to him and told him he was an inspiration. He said thank you and I went on to say to Ashley, "You are a lucky girl and he is a lucky man. You both are inspiring. " He walked the rest of the way to the camp with determination.

On Day 3 he had to bow out. There was an infection that developed in his leg that was very dangerous for him. He was admitted to the hospital. Ashley took his leg and walk the third day carrying the leg and in that way carried him.

This walk is about going further than you thought you could. It is also about walking for those who can't. This couple exemplified this perfectly.

I have since written Bob and asked his permission to tell this story. He said he would be honored. I am honored and humbled to tell it. He walked in 2010 to honor a friend who was a survivor who was pregnant and unable to walk. He added.
" I also have very important women in my life who I realize make my life so much better because they are around. Besides my beautiful... children and a handful of great friends; everything amazing in my life came from that first walk. I've now added thousands of women to my list of reasons why I will continue to walk."

How far can you go?
Life sometimes give you a gift that you realize may be one of the most incredibly ever. Being asked to stand in the Survivor Circle representing thousands of Survivors was one of those gifts. What came with it, was unexpected. Knowing the stories of the other 7 survivors who stood with me created for me a wider circle of people who "get it."

Each woman had a profound story to tell. Each woman was brave and strong and a fighter. One was still in the middle of their fight. A couple had just completed their treatment. I may have been the one who had survived the longest. I have realized that my survival is a great gift to others. It is the gift of hope.

The flag I carried was Belief. People have usually looked at me as optimistic - certainly tenacious and bullheaded. But Belief was something I needed to remind myself of as I stood in the circle. Standing there feeling the power of belief, helped me to fully accept that we will find an end to this disease. And it instilled in me a deeper commitment to keep fighting until we do.
There are people who say this walk should be more of a remembrance of people we have lost. They take issue with having too much fun on the way. But I disagree. This walk is like a symphony. There are hundreds of instruments that create the music. From the soft soulful sound of a cello to the brash and bold sounds of a temphony drum the sounds build and soften to the mood of the moment.

In the end this walk is a celebration of life. In the end the music is a triumph. In the end we swirl and dance and laugh out loud. We carry the joy with us as we return to our normal lives. The power of the music will remind us as days go on how it feels to take the silence around us and fill it with our collective voices. It is magic.

Team: Are We There Yet - Coast to Coast was a wonderful group of people, walkers certainly, but supporters aka stalkers, that made us the envy of the 3 day. Here are my thoughts about each.

Our son in law Chris has been a stalker in the past, but this year was different. Chris was our stalker driver through DC and Maryland, and that folks isn't easy. Although Chris lives in N. Virginia, he doesn't really know the area where we were walking. He had to endure a route that is not posted anywhere, his Father-in law in the passenger seat, Tom Tom, the exuberance of two woman, rain, parking, traffic and more.

He did it all with full commitment even on his 5th anniversary. I will always remember his entrance with the ice cream cones on Day 2. (Anyone within a 2 block radius would! The car kind of bottomed out as he came in to park). I will remember him rubbing Allison's feet in the Hotel. He is a warrior. And yes he does look good in a pink boa. Chris was a champion!
I have known Patty and Claire since 1991. Claire was our daughter Katie's best friend. We maneuvered a few challenging moments together. I worked with Patty while I was still being "Mommy". They are extraordinary women, both of them.
As stalkers, they took our Stalkers to another level. Ice cream, coffees, hooting and hollering. (I don't believe we had that before.) They both have a joy for life that you cannot miss.

Patty is not subtle. She is not a mystery. She is who she appears to be. That is a smart intelligent woman, a "go to" person. She is funny and deep and soulful and silly. She comes into a room and you have no doubt she has arrived. I find when I am around her , I dream a little bigger. I love Patty and I am so thrilled she will be walking with me next year in the 3 day. I know the walk will change her life in ways she didn't imagine, as it has mine.

Claire, has always been one of my favorite people. She has a wonderful laugh and is beautiful and charming. But Claire is one of those people who is very connected to her spirit and the spirit in others. She feels deeply. She thinks deeply. She is someone who will always be making the world a better place. For that reason and more I hope she will join us in the 2012 walk.

THE BRYANT FAMILY

Alicia joined the team this year to walk with her Mother. Alicia is a sailor (really, she graduated from Cal Maritime). She works with boats (the big ones) and for fun she crews on racing boats. The physical work on these boats is intense at times. She didn't have the opportunity to train in the same way as we did. Even though she didn't make it all the way, I was blown away by her tenacity. She pushed herself (maybe too far) wanting to walk all 3 days. I felt her disappointment when in the end she just couldn't make it. But I for one was mightly impressed with how far she went (at least 40 miles!) I know it meant the world to Barbara to have her daughter there.

Curtiss had supported Barbara throughout her training. I am sure there were times when he would have preferred not walking on a training walk. They are retired and driving cross country exploring as much as they can. They pull their MacGregor boat just in case there is a place to put her in the water to sail. Barbara and Curtiss have done a lot of exploring. This 3 day has been Barbara's mission and having a spouse support that is so important.

You can tell all the Bryants love being around each other. We are so glad they could all come to DC especially because than meant Barbara could walk with us.

MISS JUDI

Judi Quinn Palmer. Judi went to Los Altos High School with me (graduating in 1971). We were never all that connected in High School . We knew each other for certain (but with my failing memory I couldn't really remember her very well!). Last year through Facebook, I think, we discovered we both were walking in the 3 day, she in Atlanta and I in SF. She said "I'll donate to you if you donate to me" and we did.

This year when I announced our DC walk she asked if she could walk with us. Her Georgia team were electing to crew and not walk in the 3 day this year. I said yes, of course, but I didn't know how it all would go. After all I was walking with my daughter and two sorority sisters.

How would Judi fit in?

Well, it was the perfect chemistry. Judi has a great sense of humor, mixed with that emotional makeup that has her crying just like us. She is tenacious, walking even though she was hurting, but she is mature enough not to push it too far. She had stories to tell, and we all loved hearing them. I left feeling there is so much more we have to hear. I am hoping, although, I suppose some of this is contingent on her team, she will walk in SF in 2012. If she does, I will walk in Atlanta at some point. I promise. I hear Atlanta is amazing on the 3 day.

Walking with Judi sure is.

BARBARA
My friend Barbara is my Tri Delta sister, past roommate and fast friend for 35 years. I was in her wedding. We saw them off on their round the world sailing adventure that lasted over a decade. She has been here for birthdays and Christmas parties and was one of the first members of Team:Are We There Yet? in 2009.

Barbara is optimism personified. It is hard to be depressed around her positive spirit. She is brilliant for sure, but she knows how to have fun. She is retired now and out enjoying life like she has done all her life. I only wish she lived closer, but I count myself blessed I have been able to share so much with her. And I look forward to many more adventures.

Patti
My friend Patti has had one heck of a year. Sometimes I am sure it felt as if life was just piling it on to see when she would break. Her husband had a seizure several months ago. The uncertainty of its cause, the surgeries and recovery were more than enough for anyone to deal with. John thankfully will be fine. His tumor was benign, and he is recovering rapidly.

All of this happened while the economy was bad and life had its own stresses. Then recently Patt's mother passed away at 93.

Don't let anyone tell you, losing an aging parent is easy. It isn't and Patti took it hard. The one sanity for her, and for me in hoping I could help, was training for the 3 day. We were able to go outside and breath the air and talk about life. We are both survivors in more ways than one.

I cannot imagine walking into a 3 day without her. This year Patti said she was walking slower than usual but she was determined to get ahead of me at the end so we could walk in arm in arm. As if I would ever walk in without her. She is a huge reason why I started this journey in the first place. I hope she will ALWAYS be walking with me. I am hoping we will be able to continue to do this incredible walk for years to come, together.

Allison
This is Allison's town now. She has come a long way. As a little girl in Mill Valley Allison
would always complain about her knee on walks. Her Dad would carry her the rest of the way home on his back.
Now Allison has completed 3, 3 day walks. She has been by my side and it has been a wonderful gift. As children grow you wish for their happiness and that somehow you will be able to be a part of their lives. Walking with Allison in DC, I saw her happy, satisfied and confident.

On occasions, Allison would run ahead. One time I practically ran to catch her. I got within ear shot and called "You're killing me! Slow down!" She was on a mission. She had started the walk saying she was going to sweep part of the walk. She didn't. I don't think it is the first time Allison has surprised herself with what she is capable of and it won't be the last. But somehow ... it never surprises me.

I have cherished the time we have been able to spend these past 3 years. I hope you get that foreign assignment you dream of, but, I also hope you can walk in SF in 2012 because I love walking with you.

My boa boy.

Blessed doesn't cover how I feel about being married to Glenn.
Every time I see my husband I get a little rush. No time do I feel that more than during the 3 day. He is an incredible man.

He is supportive. I think he recognizes what this means to me. I also feel, and maybe I am wrong, it means nearly as much to him. Why else would this guy unabashedly don a big bright pink boa and wander through streets leaving a trail of feathers behind. No one has to wonder if he has been around... those pink feathers and my smile says it all.

I am so fortunate to know what it feels like to have someone totally and completely accept and love me. We have been through some times Glenn and I. Times, I know I would never had made it through without him by my side. I know when I look at him I look with with eyes filled with love and pride. I do have to say, I think I have seen the same look in his eyes on occasion. How lucky am I?

And so now the walk is over and what I have gained is immeasurable. There is no way I am done yet. Cancer came into my life 16 years ago. It has stolen people from me who should have been around to share in this grand adventure called life. I see it trying to steal people still today. We have Cancer in our sights and I know we can stop it. We just have to keep walking, and keep shouting, and keep living. For when it comes to Cancer I have to tell you... Living is the best revenge.

JOIN ME
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SF 3 day here we come!

Raising the final flag

2011-10-05T21:19:00.001-07:00

Back on the bus at 0 dark hundred, we headed back to camp where we met the rest of the team and boarded a bus to the starting point for day 3. Barbara and Alicia had stayed at a cousin's house in Potomac, and they were there bright and early. Alicia was getting her leg taped and blisters attended to since her intention was to walk the last day. This of course worried us, since after all, this is a walk about health. Although Blisters don't need chemo, a wrecked tendon can cause someone to be out of commission for too long.

The weather looked like it would cooperate.
We were filled with excitement for the day ahead.

The girls... Allison and Alicia

When we boarded the bus to the starting point Patti and I were asked to sign one woman's flag ( a survivor ) and this woman's shirt. The picture on the front of her shirt is of her daughter who is 4 months pregnant. Her options for therapy have been limited. Once again, we were hit with the significance of the walk and the importance of the money raised.

When we got to the staring point we ran into Cate Edwards and Trevor Upham again. Team Elizabeth was doing their part to end the disease that took Cate's mother too soon. I envy them one thing. By being who she is, she has the potential to be heard louder and clearer than many other people. But I remind myself, even this old realtor lady and her friend are heard. We gave them the idea to walk. I am excited for them. Their life ahead has all the potential of being very significant, Trevor as a Doctor and Cate as the director of a foundation she is forming in her Mother's name that will provide funds to talented young women without resources to pursue their dreams.

Allison knows about this walk. She knows the importance of stretching.

We were waved goodbye to from this pink clad fireman.

These young ladies saw us off too.

I loved the message on this shirt.
"I walked 60 miles and all I got is"
Click on the picture and read the list.
What you can't see is the bottom line under her fanny pack
"And this tee-shirt"

PIT STOP!

And the best part....
Our coffee delivery. Glenn had one extra cup so I suggested he give it to one of the other walkers.
This gal literally did a cartwheel before taking the cup.
And giving Glenn a hug.

We walked through some Maryland neighborhoods headed back to DC.

One long hill through a neighborhood luckily had a couple of bubble blowing cheerers. I stop to catch my breath and have Allison take a picture.

We stopped for lunch at a Metro station. This fine gentleman pulled out a chair for Patti. I must have looked a little disappointed because he pulled another one out for me.

Seems a whole lot of people took the opportunity to air out those warrior feet.

Are We There Yet feet...

Another poor walker...

Walking over the bridge heading into DC

Cheerers on the way

Bridging

Judi had scouted a place for a beer on the final leg of the walk in Dupont Circle

Allison didn't mind

Patti had received beer money from Wren and friends for her birthday.

They knew an icey beer with lime was part of our training regimen.

Allison thanks the pink fireman

While several groups stood curbside to thank us.

Those crew members work so hard on this event. They are awesome!

"If I am walking for boobs, why do my feet hurt?"

These tutu gals were awesome. Singing and dancing along the way.
Thanking me for my 16 years.

OK.... there they are! STALKERS at the white house!

Shhhhh. They bought some of us a icey beer (ice melted because Komen had us zig zag our way to the White House.) Allison did not participate.

The team minus Alicia who had swept to the closing ceremony.

We brought with us pink ribbons to tie on the White house fence. There had been a lot of discussion on whether we would be allowed to do this. We were. It was one of those moments you will never forget.

It just felt like the exclamation point on what we were trying to do, bring attention to the battle against Cancer.

We brought Alicia's ribbon to tie on for her.

Poignant Pink

Curtiss walked the rest of the way to the closing with Barbara, while the rest of the stalkers fast forwarded to closing to find a good spot to watch.

I put on my button sash and walked the rest of the way in honor of survivors and those who had not survived.

Judy who had an injury finished strong with my gal Patti.

I thought of Mom, I thought of Glenn's Mom, I thought of Olivia and Leslie and Beverly and Jane. I thought of Alice and Gloria, and Tamara and Nicole. I thought of my daughters and my grandfather, Nancy and all the other who found a spot on the sash each and every moment I have been able to live past my diagnosis and the duty I feel to make that matter.

Those last steps deepened the meaning of this already powerful walk.

I am sure it was the same way for many. It isn't an ending - it is a shout. We are here. We are not stopping until there is an end to this diesase.

The team poses at holding before getting our shirts.

We made it!

And so did so the bags.

Barbara celebrates.

Team in holding ...

Patti thanks Trash Boy!

Another thanks the pink q-tip

They organized the group into survivors wearing pink, walkers wearing white, crew, volunteers

The survivor circle participants were held back for last.

We got to cheer as every walker walked in first.

All celebrating a great achievement

There are my gals...

The crew and medical and volunteers come in first to the ceremony, followed by the walkers. When the survivors enter there is a salute.

Patti would have been one of the first to see it.

Everyone raises a shoe in salute.

Can't tell you how moving that was to me when I saw it first in 2009.

And it still is. But we in the survivor circle were still waiting to come in and I felt bad for some of the first time walkers in the circle that they didn't get to feel that moment. But we had a different moment.

I came in with my flag ready to find my spot on stage. The second person in the circle missed her spot to put her flag, so when I came in and looked for my place to put my flag it wasn't there. Glenn said it looked like musical chairs. I wandered a bit and looked and then looked from face to face until finally someone spotted the empty spot, just in time...

Joining hands with other survivors, you could feel the power.

This ceremony is so moving to me. The words are still just about the same as they have been for awhile. But it ends with a raising of a flag.

"Like mountain climbers who plant their flag to symbolize the attainment of the summit, this flag is a proof that we were here. Living, breathing and shouting with every step "We will never give up, WE will NEVER give up, WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP!"

The flag says "A World Without Breast Cancer."

And we believe what we have done, DOES matter.

And it is worth celebrating.

We are powerful pink warriors.

Still flying high we took a while to sit on the green drink some champagne.

And congratulate each other.

And get a bright red rose from our stalkers.

This is the end???

Or a waystop on a journey?

It is a moment for soaring.

And that calls for congratulations.

Or a final drink of water.

Or a moment to just relax

Knowing the pink is never far behind

And friends who matter are always there.

Deep satisfaction

The final rose.

Thinking about what we lost along the way in this life and realizing how much we have found.

Now its time to chill out.

Get those feet ready for "normal life"

And leave this city behind
And stare into the eyes of those who matter, and who are always by your side.

Thanks for all your support. With your help I was the #4 individual fund raiser with over $16,100 going toward research and community programs that will END this disease. That's in a town of fundraisers! Our team was #2 per capita with over $31,000 raised and the walk itself raised over 7 million dollars.I will be walking next year in SF. You can get me off to a great start with a donation at http://www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

Because we aren't done yet!